this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2023
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[โ€“] OwenEverbinde@lemmy.myserv.one 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I can take a guess at what it tells us.

We're lonely. We get no physical contact. No touch. No warmth. And it's not really socially acceptable for us to seek those things, because men are scolded for emotions and vulnerability. We are scolded for anything that would enable intimacy.

And it's to such an extent that most men are so repressed they don't even realize they crave intimacy. They don't even have the vocabulary to describe their need for intimacy.

Now introduce, to such a man, a "sister."

Heavy emphasis on the quotes.

The "story" of the porn, using their family ties as a shortcut, quickly establishes that she lives with him. She bonds with him. It's socially acceptable for him to hug her, to wrestle with her, maybe even to cuddle her. And she will always be there, because her connection to him runs deeper than most "romantic" relationships can (we're still assuming this man can't articulate his own need for intimacy), so he doesn't need to worry about her abandoning him.

Naturally, this emotionally repressed man is going to look at this fictional family member, this figment of his suspension of disbelief, and say, "well I want to ๐Ÿฆ† her!" (I always find my keyboard's lack of profanity amusing. I refuse to teach such an innocent piece of software how to cuss.)

What he really means is that he appreciates that intimacy. And cannot really get turned on in its absence. But he can't say that. He can't admit that or even know that. Because this man is not only starved of all of the above: he can't even articulate this starvation.

Daughters? Sisters? Mothers? They all serve the same purpose as a shortcut -- "here's a person who is intimate and trusting with you by default." The familial bond is a fast, easy way to establish prebuilt trust and affection without spending 20-30 minutes on storytelling or 20-30 hours of therapy trying to convince a repressed audience that it's okay to have a deep, intimate, trusting connection with this consenting woman.

In other words, what it tells us about society isn't good.