this post was submitted on 27 May 2025
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I rarely have any encounters with genuinely toxic gamers, but I remember one time a troll being rude to everyone and was bragging how great he is with having more points while I have zero (we are just few minutes into the game). I responded that he has zero sex in real life. He didn't reply for a long time until he had enough and quit after telling me to kill myself. I think he quit because I eventually outscored him by a wide margin. Lol funniest gaming moment I had. I haven't encountered the player again because he probably got banned.
These incels blame everyone but themselves. And the thing is, I give them the benefit of the doubt, because many of them are probably neurodivergent and don't even realise it so they did not get the necessary help. I am not saying it is the person's fault for being neurodivergent, but many incels who happen to be one easily lash out because they just don't realise they are neurodivergent. I have a family member who was diagnosed only later in life, which explains a lot when we were growing up.
I can't afford to give them the benefit of the doubt, because I'm a woman, and for many of them, my existence is anathema.
I completely understand. I am not saying all are mysoginists should be left completely off the hook because some are genuine assholes who are too far gone, like Andrew Tate; but on the one hand, people who are mentally and emotionally vulnerable have been groomed to adopt extreme views. The latter should be helped.
Unless you engage with them in some sort of way, which you don't want to do in most cases, how do you find out? It's hard to keep an open mind when encountering such a person and so is giving them the benefit of the doubt. Nowadays, it's just the easiest explanation to assume they're just a misogynist
What I mean by giving the benefit of the doubt is not necessarily to engage with them, but to keep at the back of the mind that the person may or may not be a vulnerable individual who had been manipulated. IMHO it is fine to think "this person is an idiot, but there could be something that made the person that way but who knows."