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Whooo boy that's a tough topic. So I'm sure what you're realizing is that LGBTQ+ issues in China isn't a government thing. The government doesn't care. The families though, oh god, I mean if we're going to say there's oppression in China, it's from the families. IF you're lucky and have a good family, great. If you're not, no one will help you.
So, of course your best bet is to find extended family that accepts you. This is how there's a thriving LGBTQ+ community in China. And leads to all the things I was talking about where grandparents over rule parents, but it can also be aunts or other family members. OR and importantly OR because of how guanxi works, you can also find groups of like minded friends who take you in and help you get past these things.
I'm not here to tell you it's a great system or it works well. Abuse IS a huge problem there. However, in the western mind it's all tied to an oppressive government, it's actually not. It's a deep cultural issue that is only recently coming to light, and frankly if I'm honest it will get buried just as quickly with a few more rights for people, such as gay civil unions. It's how China listens to the voice of the people. I know this is confusing, in the west people think of the voice of the people as a direct voice such as democracy. In China it's complicated. In a weird way, everyone in China is free to do whatever they want, as long as you have the guanxi to back it.
Edit
I feel like I should add this has been the way the Chinese government has done things since imperial times. China isn't communist, a better way of looking at them is they've returned to imperial China. It's bad in many ways as you've noticed, parental abuse is an insanely huge problem there. On the other hand, it's how they handle the rich getting too rich. It doesn't matter how rich you are if you've destroyed all your guanxi, as Elon Musk is discovering.