this post was submitted on 08 May 2025
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Bear is black, fight back.
Bear is brown, turn around.
Bear is white, say good night.
Bear is Kodiak, you are trespassing and you will be shot.
Also.
Some black bears are brown.
Some brown bears are black.
Good luck everyone.
Polar bears have black skin. Polar bears are black bears.
Bear is white, say good night, and tuck it in and tell it a story. Once the bear has fallen asleep snuggle up to it, so it has a fresh morning snack.
Turn around is a bad idea
If it's brown, lie down
Oh, I had understood that to mean lay down facedown (with your back to it) since people usually have backpacks while hiking/hunting, and it provides some measure of protection.
I had heard it as turn around, but lie down makes much more sense.
I remember somewhere they were saying you should remove your clothes (slowly piece by piece) with a polar bear. The bear will get distracted and start sniffing your clothes.
I think it was a QI episode and then David Mitchell said something like that Polar Bear being happier in the fact that the human would be better to eat this time because it didn't have a wrapper.
That’s a myth perpetuated by the polar bears, they’re just perverts
This works because polar bears are super horny. Its desire to rend you limb from limb will be replaced by overwhelming lust. Of course then you've got a completely different issue to deal with, but at least you might not die.
I think removing your clothes is just so the bear doesn't choke to death on your Nikes.