this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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Mental Health

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They feel like cult leaders:

They told me: "Only us, as your parents, care about you, don't trust anyone else..."

Which reminds me: There's actually a common phrase in Chinese culture: "世上只有妈妈好", it's a common "nusery rhyme" thingy but its one of the most subtle propaganda in Chinese culture. Roughly translates to "The only good person in the entire world is your mother". (I guess they forgot the bit about abusive parenting... 🙄)

So, people are just suppose to believe anything your parent say?

Very cult-like...

Anyone else have parents like this?

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[–] Delvin4519@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

I do. I have canto parents that say literally the same exact thing: "only [your] parents can help me, my siblings have no obligation to help me".

My parents raised me with the sayings "do not talk to strangers", "if it is someone you don't know, don't go to meet", warned about something to do with money vs. friends etc, blah blah blah.

This kind of conditioned me to be very wary of other classmates when I was in high school, even if they were kind to me to begin with, so they would never go beyond as people I used to know in high school. It also made me fearful to take public transport or be alone at night; and it was not until after high school ended I finally became okay-ish using public transport in the early evening hours.

Well, since I have aspergers, it is necessarily difficult for me to even make friends to begin with, but I did eventually befriend 1 other aspergers person in the most weirdest of circumstances.

My parents kind of just think that "I just need to look at other people on what to do and do that". I feel like they think of autism as a childhood condition, and that since I'm an adult, that I just need to "stop being lazy and find something to do". It is despite the fact that I was never taught the skill of finding something to do outside of school (I have only ever attended an academic class in my entire life, outside of whatever junk I browse on the internet). I also wanted to return back to school before graduation but COVID took it away and so I never had the chance to play catch up. College and university didn't really have anything to help with re-integration. I feel like I was just expected to "bounce right back" even though I couldn't. My parents half-a**ed my time back when I used to be school and mostly just deferred to the school with what they did with my IEP/504 plan. My parents would say "the school is always right", and that "they know everything". They were pretty much cut off from the rest of ths school community.

I'm not too surprised why my parents voted for Trump. :( That's one way to certainly ruin and cripple a child's future.

I will never forgive them for it.

After meeting my friend, it is certainly night and day the differences all based on how incompetent my parents were.

I do feel jealously for him despite us two having aspergers and similar personalities. He seems able to do well in college on his own and have summer programs to do. Stuff I can't even do on my own and don't have the skills. It was because his parents were closely involved with the school and knowing other student's familes at the same school. As the saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child". Something my parents most definitely threw out the door.