this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2025
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Witchy Memes
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My go to whenever I hear any kind of bump in the night is to grab something that can be used as a weapon and make sure I'm completely naked.
In the infinitesimally small chance it's some kind of spirit or ghoul I will try to fuck it, b cause it's what it would least expect. If it's a human intruder I will attack it, and I just assume that the shock of seeing a nearly 40 year old fully nude dad bod coming at them screaming and brandishing a weapon will create a moment of confusion that I can use to my advantage.
Sound strategy. Always keep a bat by your bed with a sock worn over the tip. That way, if they try to grab the bat out of your hand, they will just grab the sock, and it will slip off.