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When using an iPad (or an iPhone) the one thing to keep in mind is it's NOT a computer. You cannot treat it like a PC, or expect it to behave like one. You cannot apply your decades of experience with PC operating systems, you need to forget what you know.
The iPad is an appliance. It is designed for consuming apps from the App Store. That's all.
Android has been trying to do the same for years, but the benefit with Android is it's Linux based, so we can always install a terminal emulator, and a file manager, and other admin tools that allow us to use the familiar PC patterns we've become accustomed to.
You can jailbreak it and own it also
I understand.
I even respect the general idea.
.... But I will literally never willingly pay for an appliance-like piece of technology. I even sold off the one I got for free.
Android at least lets me sideload stuff and/or install it from F-Droid.
I agree. I've never bought an iPhone or iPad myself, but I've had old ones given to me.