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would dating my ex friend be worth it, do you think he could love me and would calm down if i said yes or am i just thinking this out of sadness? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 18 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) by drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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i just broke up with my bf who ghosted me bc he realized he's gay (im a woman). i don't even think i like guys but i have this compulsion to ask out my friend who i blocked to have a man that treats me right instead of the other guy that ghosted me, and also to make him happy.

he kept talking about how he could treat me better than anyone else, that i should've ditched my bf for him (obv i said no), and badmouthed not only his gf of a few years since age 16 but also his first time. he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia and she blocked all his socials after he left.

he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn't want to be his gf so ik he doesn't care about consent regardless of what he says. he also completely ignored me liking women and acted like i was straight but i feel lonely.

i kinda wanna make him happy and have a bf who pays attention to me but ik i'm probably just saying this out of sadness. we were friends but i had to block.

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[–] Zak@lemmy.world 27 points 13 hours ago

I'm not going to tell you what to do. I am going to point out the red flags you cited and ask what you would say to a friend who was considering dating someone who behaves like this.

he kept talking about... that i should’ve ditched my bf for him

In other words, he did not respect your relationship when you were in one.

badmouthed not only his gf of a few years

He handles struggles in a relationship by badmouthing his partner to others,

he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia

and uses an armchair diagnosis as an excuse to get out of a relationship instead of just saying it's not working for him anymore like an adult.

he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn’t want to be his gf

He doesn't care about your preferences, and tries to manipulate you when they don't match his.