Statue of Liberty Plaque.
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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Mildly Infuriating
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You know what? Fuck it. Let's go back to 19th century rules. We'll have open unlimited immigration, but in a very annoying fashion.
First, we'll reopen and expand the Ellis Island facility. We'll let anyone without a serious criminal record in, but all immigrants have to go through Ellis Island.
Second, no more plane travel. That's just too damn easy. You have to come here by boat. And we'll require they be slow boats that take at least a month to cross the ocean. Also we'll set a minimum ticket price to whatever the inflation-adjusted value of a steerage ticket was on a passenger liner c. 1910.
We'll turn immigration from a criminally regulated matter into what amounts to an international hazing ritual. We'll let anyone who wants in, but you got to prove you really want it by putting up with a whole lot of pointless bullshit first.
Live in Ciudad Juarez and want to move to El Paso? Nah, you're not just going to be able to walk across the border. You're going to have to haul your ass down Vera Cruz, book a ticket on a boat, and then spend at least a month fucking around on the ocean until you get to NYC. Then you'll be let in and can go live in El Paso if you want.
My ancestors came here during the time of open immigration, but they also had to put up with a lot shit in order to do so. We'll make immigration like joining a fraternity or sorority. We'll let you in, but we're going to make you put up with a bunch of pointless and arbitrary crap first.