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You are correct in your noticing Democrats have been the party of decorum - and that's the penultimate refuge of the incompetent before violence. So, now we've established that the two-ply paper-thin veneer of legitimacy has unraveled, what should we do?
There are ways out of this. None of them are easy.
Vote with your wallet, vote in primaries. Go to community board meetings. Speak up, even if you're afraid of what anyone might think. More people will respect you for trying than you'd think, but don't waste the opportunity on something trivial.
Don't do business with anyone with destructive politics to the point where it causes you personal/professional inconvenience and costs your money. Support local communities. Talk to the guy on the street corner you always see but never approached. Maybe they can tell you something. Talk to the guy that makes your sandwiches at the store, your bartender, your barista, your cleaning lady, your laundromat people. Hell talk to your drug dealer/street pharmacist. Talk to your coworkers and don't be scared. If they snitch then you will know indicators better for next time, and trust me - you will survive the mistake. Maybe it's BS, maybe you'll realize there's an angle to help yourself and everyone else. Never do anything unless it helps more people than yourself, and doesn't have an obvious negative externality that you can account for.
Go to rallies, go to meetings. Show support in public for people you believe in, someone standing up next to you when you stick your neck out counts for more than you can possibly understand. Put yourself on the front line facing armed police. Make the point that you won't break, and that they can't scare you. Remain nonviolent until you have no other option, but be prepared when they invent reasons to hurt you withing reason - and remember that they may have thought they never had a choice (even if they did).
This is going to get ugly.
The next time someone annoys or inconveniences you, or says something provocative, ask yourself why, and ask yourself what personal hell they are living in made them do that?
If this sounds a lot like religious nonsense, that's exactly what it is. That stuff was (arguably flawed and wantonly misinterpreted) attempts to give people a map going forwards. We've been putting in an abysmal effort to do better for not only ourselves, but everyone else, and now everyone's hurting. Some people you can't help, they're so stuck into their monomaniacal vision of reality that they don't care who they're hurting, even if it's ultimately themselves through consequence or some other metaphysical mechanism whether you believe in it or not.
Find a community, build a community. Be a leader and set a better example for everyone around you.
It may already be too late but your actions going forwards from here will determine what survives, and whether THAT is worth saving.
And remember - it's not just humans. There are many other living beings on this planet that don't have the technological capacity, legal status or physical ability to make themselves heard, and our status demands at very least the acknowledgement of some form of responsible stewardship.
Good Luck.
To all of us.