this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
411 points (91.0% liked)

Comic Strips

12479 readers
3316 users here now

Comic Strips is a community for those who love comic stories.

The rules are simple:

Web of links

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 23 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Or just want to talk to someone? Why are we simultaneously normalizing anti-social behavior and wondering why the young people are so unhappy?

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why not text 'wanna talk sometime'? A call demands an immediate response, so reserve it for things that demand immediate responses.

[–] LaurelRerun@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

No it doesn't. Just don't pick up the phone. If it's important they'll text you to pick up the phone. There's a reason the terms "phone tag" and "screening calls" exist.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

But you don't know the relative importance of what they're telling vs what you're doing. A text gives more information than just seeing your receiving a call.

[–] Amazed@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

That’s why people leave voicemails… you leave a verbal note of why you’re calling. And if the receiver prefers to read a text about it, several services transcribe voicemails automatically good enough to get the general gist. Or they can listen to them.

The point is that people usually don’t set out to ruin your day or misbehave, and you cannot control other people’s experience, expectations and preferences, only your own. So it’s on you to know yourself well enough to manage your boundaries appropriately with technology/tools, and possibly communication, and not to blame other people for “missteps”. When what they are doing is likely perfectly within the realm of reason to them.

Especially if they have a disability and calls are easier for them. If you have the disability, you can communicate your preferences but don’t expect people to know immediately. Set up your tech accordingly to communicate your needs. And acclimate where you can.

If things “escalate”.. well… it’s likely your fault. We always need to look at our part first.

[–] magikmw@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Nothing good ever came out of a voicemail I received. Disabled and wont enable again. Text me if it's important enough for me to call back with a brief topic. I don't call back if I don't get a text, that's reserved for maybe 5 people on earth.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And if the receiver prefers to read a text about it, several services transcribe voicemails automatically good enough to get the general gist.

I use these. But they're less direct and easier to misunderstand than if it was native text. If someone wants to say it, they can voice type as well.

[–] Amazed@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Absolutely. Also hit and miss accuracy wise and can turn out to be an essay, but definitely an option.

[–] LaurelRerun@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Damn dude, it's not that big a deal. Just don't pick up the phone. If it's important they'll find a way to let you know.

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

if you don't pick up they'll get mad and say you never pick up your phone

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago

You will feel terrible if you don't pick up the phone and it turns out to be something important, like being able to hear the last words of your grandma or something.

Texting is a lot less of a big deal than a phone call is.

[–] socsa@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

Thanks for waking me up from the one nap I've gotten this year.

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

I'm sorry, what's "phone tag" and "screening calls"? Never heard of any of that.

[–] QuinceDaPence@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Maybe this is just me and my circle but if someone just wants to talk I'd typically expect that more over discord or something like that rather than phone call unless they're older.

Other than that phone call is for urgent stuff or something that's going to have a lot of back and forth and is quicker pver phone.

[–] socsa@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Unless you know for sure that the other person is legitimately bored, sitting around not doing anything, imposing yourself on someone like this is rude.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's not imposing. You don't have to answer.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You would have, if you knew how important it was.

But you can't know that of a phone call, with a text you can.

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So when you "just want to talk" you call someone out of the blue and just expect them to stop what they're doing and have a little chat? I had a friend like that and I hated it because they always called at the worst moments so I wouldn't pick up and then they assumed I disliked them and played the victim by a mutual friend. That's when I actually started disliking them. So don't randomly call people please thank you.

Also texting someone instead of talking isn't antisocial behaviour. You can say as much in a text as you can say in a call and the other person can reply to your text and continue doing what they're doing at the same time.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You absolutely cannot say in a text what you can in a call

You can multitask while texting, true, but that is antisocial. Social, is having a conversation.

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

how is that antisocial?