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The first time he loses his temper and screams how stupid you are is shocking. And then he apologizes and love-bombs and you write it off as a one-time bad day, confident it won't happen again. The next time when he screams how useless you are, the love bomb and apology are accompanied with a perfectly calm and logical (and apologetic) explanation of how you made him lose his cool and if you just wouldn't X, he wouldn't get so mad..... Eventually when he screams and calls you names, you are the one apologizing and begging forgiveness.....
By the time he actually hits you, you are already convinced that you are the problem and if you just wouldn't make him so mad, he wouldn't lose his cool - and you're so worthless and useless and bad at life that you are lucky he wants you at all and no one else would even give you the time a day......
I understand the way abusers/narcissists convince the victim. Sorry, it sounds like you know first hand and hope you're in a better place
Being autistic, the instant someone is rude or abusive on purpose with the intent to cause harm or stress, I'm out. No apologizing will ever make me forget they purposely wanted to cause me harm. If I would never purposely hurt someone, then I expect the same
It's crazy that people forgive the first time they're abused by someone