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These pet names are lovely to those who want/expect it, and annoying and demeaning to those that dont. Im sorry others use these names on you or others in your life that dont like it. It sounds recductive but, ask them to stop, most dont want to hurt others and if they know you dont like it and ignore your request they are assholes that deserve the worst.
No. I should not have to ask grown adults not to call me these names. These are co-workers, acquaintances, strangers, not people who should be assuming any level of familiarity with me. The default should be basic respect.
"Just this. Just that." Stop telling the people getting shit on to make excuses and accomodations for the behavior of people with power.
I feel like im not understanding your situation well enugh to comment. I seem to have not relized how systematic it is. I dont know how to help.