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My dad contacted me out of nowhere (startrek.website)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) by TotallyNotSpezUpload@startrek.website to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee

28 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm a bit lost here, to be fair. I went full no contact with my family back when I was 16. Took a hike, even across countries. So, apparently what happened, was my ex brother in law not keeping his mouth shut and sharing my number with my family. I still can't make heads or tails of it. But now my dad wants to be real chummy and friendy with me? Fuck that, honestly. I'm not super mad at him, more at the rest of my family, but it seriously hurts right now. What am I supposed to do? I'm at a loss here. Haven't really talked to the person for over 21 years.

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[–] CaptObvious 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Maybe cut him some slack? A lot can happen in 20 years.

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If OP has made it clear he doesn't want someone around, and they violate it by sharing phone numbers and sending texts and trying to get back in, then the family isn't respecting boundaries and is probably why they got cut off in the first place.

Going no contact is often a last resort after a lifetime of pain. It's nothing something people do casually.

[–] CaptObvious 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

With respect, 16 year old brains are not physically developed enough to make that decision. It’s why we don’t let them vote.

Things may look different today. I stand by my suggestion.

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 1 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

anyone who's been abused as a teenager could tell your differently. your advice is wrong, sorry.

[–] CaptObvious 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

It isn’t really. But you are, of course, entitled to your opinion.

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Entitled is an ironic choice of words for someone who's never been abused and says teenage abuse victims aren't "developed enough" to go no-contact with their abuser. Foolish human. If you respond I'll block you instantly without reading it to verify that you've read and understood my comment.

[–] CTDummy@lemm.ee 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Yeah the guy isn’t a stranger to L takes. “Maybe cut the guy some slack” pfffft. Abused or neglected at 16? Nah you're too young to know that apparently.