Because religious people have a lot more kids that non, so a bigger potion of people get stuck into a culture they think they have to conform to in order to keep their parents happy, also they convinced us sex of every kind was basically a crime against God, so we became sexually repressed enough to fall in love emotionally and not sexually. Not daring to even question our orientations until over a decade after marriage, parents die, kids grow up, we didn't raise them to be sexually repressed or afraid of being authentically true to themselves, and having a sexuality, which conflicted with our increasingly hateful and intolerant religion of birth, forced us to be honest with ourselves, abandon a creepy death cult, and accept who we always were. We finally understand why the sex was so terrible, the whole marriage, neither of us was interested.