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I've never had problems using terms like "look man," "oh boy," or "dude" In "normal" conversion with anyone until recently. I was talking to a trans-woman I know and definitely stopped myself from dropping "hey man" in our conversation because I thought she would not appreciate it. That's caused some self reflection and while I'll probably continue to use genderbent language when talking with my wife I'll probably seek to minimize it elsewhere. I don't really know how in tune a given woman I'm talking to is with their muliebrity and it seems not my place as a cis man to make that determination for them.
I would say for a lot of people it probably doesn't matter, but for those that it does it does a lot and it's no skin off my back to try to be courteous in my speech with whomever.
TIL- Muliebrity (Muliebrity means womanly nature or qualities, or the condition of being a woman. It comes from Latin muliēbris, derived from mulier, meaning woman)
Feel about the same as your case. Every one has preferred pronouns, I like to point out to conservative relatives that "sir" and "ma'am" is just another form that they learned growing up for certain individuals. It's just basic manners.