this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
1037 points (95.8% liked)

The Onion

4700 readers
480 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 134 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Act as if we will. No seriously like half of politics is the manifest will of the people. If you decide right now that Trump isn't going to do it then it's going to be normalized by 2026 and outrage will not occur. You need to expect the next election with all the force of reality you can muster.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago (7 children)

I say we start a revolution. We get a bunch of pie crusts. And fill them with whipped cream. And then we collectively go around the country just pieing people in the face, and sticking a clown nose on them. Then we lift them above our heads, and run away.

Their whole culture is based on fear, and conformity. You do the normal thing. People who don't do the normal thing aren't with them.

Now imagine walking along the street wearing your trump hat, thinking you're all cool. Suddenly, BAM!!! PIE!!! CLOWN NOSE!!! And now you're 8 feet in the air after having taken a surprise cream pie.

It would go against everything that makes their culture what it is.

OHHH!!! OHHH!!!! SOMEBODY CREAM PIE TRUMP!!! You KNOW you want to see trump rubbing out a cream pie from his eye.

[–] BallsandBayonets@lemmings.world 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm in. My recipe for pie crusts and whipped cream calls for a lot of cheap liquor and something called "flammable rags"? It's an odd recipe but comes highly rated.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Flammable rags.....hmmmm, is that an Albany expression? Sort of like Steamed Hams?

[–] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Oh, not Albany, no. It's a Utica expression.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 month ago

this pie crust is oddly hard and crystalline, weird tall shape too

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Already done

It would be considered assault. Yet forcing poverty upon the working class is peace? Fuck this planet.

[–] SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In a witness statement read out to the court on his behalf, Mr Farage said: “The cup hit me directly in my face … liquid went all over me.”

Giving details from her police interview, prosecutor Nishma Shah told the court: “She acknowledges that this was an assault and that the liquid would have gone over the jackets of him and others and caused them to get cleaning, but she states that Nigel would be able to afford this.

Previously, during a campaign walkabout in Newcastle in 2019, Mr Farage had a banana and salted caramel milkshake thrown at him. “Milkshaking” – the act of dousing public figures in a milkshake – was officially recognised by Collins Dictionary the same year.

Wow he's caused a trend.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Dismissive of Kyle Rittenhouse taking his firearm across borders to go and murder someone for their skin colour, but splash him with a bit of milkshake and suddenly he's super serious and it's not funny and it's assault and the full force of the law must be applied and politicians shouldn't be subjected to violence etc etc. But violence in the street against immigrants because some right wing nutjob pretended that literally one criminal was an immigrant? No, that's all fine and very understandable and people are just concerned. Jo Cox MP murdered for saying wouldn't it be good to be nice to people for a change? "Regrettable." Uber rich Nigel "fake man of the people" Farage with milkshake thrown at him? "OutRAGEous!"

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 month ago

surprise cream pie.

I've seen this website..

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 1 month ago

Only Putin is allowed to cream pie him

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're gonna end up shot before the term is supposed to be over, aren't you?

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You’re gonna end up shot before the term is supposed to be over, aren’t you?

haha, We all are, hahaha.

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

All completely to plan for big whipped cream, big pie crust and big pie tin. In the end we're just pawns in their little game

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Oh my God that would be awesome

[–] Eatspancakes84@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There will certainly be an election. Potentially, the main opposition candidates will be in jail (or in a deportation camp in Alaska), but an election will happen.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 month ago

A few years ago, Elizabeth Warren's claim to indigenous-American heritage was the butt of many, many jokes by the right.

Wouldn't it be funny if she's declared an illegal immigrant?

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Act as if. I still teach this to sales proteges.