Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
I remember this vivedly and I'm straight.
In high school, I was very awkward socially (decades later I could find out that it's autism, but at that point it was just called "he's shy and awkward"). I had a group of bullies who would follow me around taunting me.
Usually, they'd leave me alone if they were alone with me, but there was one exception. One of my bullies loved pretending to come onto me in the locker room. As if being in your underpants changing in front of other guys wasn't embarrassing enough as a teen, this guy would pretend that he was gay (he definitely wasn't) and that he was attracted to me.
I remember feeling ashamed of being identified by someone as possibly being gay. (A feeling that present day me realizes wasn't right, but I was a teenager and being gay wasn't widely accepted then.) I wanted desperately to prove that I was straight, but had no way of doing that. (See above about being extremely awkward socially - I didn't have my first date until about a decade later.)
Yeah because by that point, men weren't allowed to have feelings. Men had to be...Men who did MAN things. Working on cars - MAN thing. Drinking beers - MAN thing. Doing lumberjack or other fields of intensive labor - MAN thing. There was no room for these things called emotions because that made you a BOY and we need to separate the boys from the men! That was the kind of rhetoric that was instilled in male society for decades up to that point.
And it took someone like an animated character like Kenshiro from an anime to show people that it's actually okay for guys to have feelings. In a show where he does an awful lot of manly things.
In my area of the world where queerness is still criminalised, people still use those terms openly.
It was pretty popular into the early 2000s as well as far as I'm concerned. Just not in media as much.
Options for word choices have diminished and aren't as edgy, but I still see men call each other cupcakes and removed in lieu of using more classical words.
Edit: Guess there's some pretty strong word filters here. It was the b-word in case anyone was wondering. Feel like I'm in elementary school...
I grew up in the 90's being called fag/faggot a lot and I wasn't even queer until like, my junior year of highschool when I discovered yaoi.