this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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[–] tourist@lemmy.world 41 points 4 hours ago (4 children)

why jesus cakes hanging out

Also my money on the four armed elephant dude with an axe

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 10 points 2 hours ago

Dude forgot to gird. Rookie mistake.

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

If we consider the Sistine Chapel's depiction of the realm of heaven to be divine inspiration, the clothes were added later after some complaints.

The whole concept of original sin is such that pure beings such as Adam and Eve did not even realize that they were naked until they ate the fruit of carnal knowledge.

Therefor it is canon that God likes to hang out with his wang out. Freeballin.

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Also Jesus was a bottom

Do you think he was topping 12 dudes a night? They started a religion after him because he was nice not because he was a multiple cummer

So it totally makes sense for him to be flying cakes in a fight with a Hindu god

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 6 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not sure what your religion is but I regret to inform you that you're not going to the good place.

[–] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 5 points 53 minutes ago* (last edited 52 minutes ago) (1 children)

Based on having had to read that comment I would say we're already in the bad place

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 1 points 39 minutes ago* (last edited 39 minutes ago)

I'm a slut for cum fill me Judas

~Jesus Christ, probably

[–] Buffalox@lemmy.world 18 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

Yes it looks like an iron axe, and God has a problem with Iron:
https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm

Judges 1:19

The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron.

So the idea that God is almighty is pretty ridiculous, according to the Bible that is.

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I never actually read much of the thing

I just assert that the burning bush was absolutely cannabis sativa, despite any solid evidence to the contrary. I don't care that it's not native to the region or whatever.

Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.

[–] Fermion@feddit.nl 1 points 2 hours ago

I can't claim to have much experience in the matter, but I don't think people who just chill generally have chariots fitted with iron. Like if your neighbor happened to have a tank and a bunker, would you say they're just chilling?

[–] lowleveldata@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago

No pants for serious mode