this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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Curated Tumblr
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What kind of Christian baby? If it's Pentecostal I'll hit it out of the park, but a New Southern Reform Anabaptist baby? No way!
I love that there is also the distinct possibility of non-Christian babies up there on the mound, with the pitcher as well.
What happens if the pitcher throws a baby of a different faith? Infield fly rule that leads to a game ending double play?
Some baseball scholars consider any contact between the bat and a Hindu, Sikh or Buddhist baby to be foul bunt, and therfore an automatic strike. A Scientologist, Church of Latter Day Saints or Jehova's Witness baby on the other hand is considered a fair ball unless caught in flight with runners on first, first and second, first and third, or bases loaded (with less than two out).
I’m imagining a controversial new Ken Burns Documentary, with an emotional forward by Tommy Lasorda.
Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.
Die, heretic!