aspergers

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/Horror-Cauliflower82 on 2023-08-11 23:27:05.

Hey everyone, so I’m trying to figure out if it’s worth getting an Asperger’s assessment or if I’m just being ridiculous with thinking I have it.

I say ridiculous because I don’t really have any of the common social difficulties. For example I can tell someone’s emotions from their face, can make small talk if needed, and I don’t interrupt people, and I am conscious not to say things that might be rude.

I’m also pretty athletic and played 3 sports back in high school.

By the way I hope the above info I stated doesn’t come across as using overly stereotypical reasoning points but I don’t know a huge amount about it so I wanted to hit what I thought were the major identifiers.

Same goes for what’s below on the things I do think align with common traits.

So, as I said I think I have a lot of other Asperger’s traits. I am very routine oriented, generally like to be by myself (but enjoy small groups of close friends). In fact my best friend may have Asperger’s and it seems I can relate to him more than anyone else.

I don’t like when my routine is disrupted. Especially my morning and night routines.

Hate being away from home and find it hard to sleep in other areas.

I am very sensitive to loud noises as well as lights and different fabrics. Especially on my face, I hate people or things touching my face.

Sometimes I’d like to just wear ear plugs even during the day when I go out to busy places.

I also have social anxiety (clinically diagnosed) and general anxiety so I’m wondering if maybe those conditions are what may cause some of the other issues like not wanting to be around people. But yeah I don’t like meeting new people and hate talking in groups.

I have obsessive interests, or at least highly focused interests, which for me mainly are nutrition, holistic health, and bodybuilding. I look up at least a couple articles per day on those topics and think about them quite often. I find myself taking to my family about these topics quite a bit too.

Lastly, maybe it’d help to explain my job too. I work from home as a freelance writer and researcher for different health websites. I love what I do although it can get draining sometimes! But what doesn’t…

It helps to have headphones with brown noise and be in my own space where I can deeply focus for long periods.

That’s all I think. Again I apologize if I’m not in the right space but just wanted to see what others think. Thanks in advance.

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/RT_456 on 2023-08-11 22:18:42.

I'm thinking of giving therapy another try as life is quite honestly a mess. I'm 30 years old, never had a proper job, I have zero friends and I think I'm 100% depressed at this point. I feel I'm in a deep hole and I see no way out. I've been to psychologists before and even some psychiatrists but honestly I felt it went nowhere. I wondered if a social worker might be better suited to the challenges faced by someone with Asperger's syndrome? Has anyone here seen a social worker?

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/JBN785 on 2023-08-11 23:34:24.

My parents did this... worst parenting decision they ever made! It ruined my social life as a child and led to disastrous long-term consequences.

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/sk8offyourdemons on 2023-08-11 22:50:01.

I’ve been here on and off for a couple years. This place has always resonated with me the most. The users here just seem more authentic and relatable. During dark times I’ve had so many people here genuinely help me.

I’m probably gonna sound like an asshole, but I’m real tired of all the stimmy hands and rainbows shit that I see everywhere else lol. I have a very difficult time believing any of these people on other online spaces. It all seems so fake and disingenuous. Like are you actually autistic or is it just another diagnosis to add to your endless growing collection?

Bit of a different post compared to most but I just wanted to spill my thoughts.

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/ElaineRoach on 2023-08-11 20:09:48.

A while ago, I shared this post and I learned that I'm not the only one who has an uncommon autism presentation (low empathy, no stimming/special interests, etc.). Those who related, speculated about what it might be, but we couldn't find an answer. Others kindly (/s) told me to f*** off to r/ASPD or r/NPD.

The plot twist: I'm now being referred for personality disorder assessment. So, if you related to my set of characteristics and you're wondering what's going on, at least consider that it might possibly be a (comorbid) PD.

I am really not eager for the assessment and every day I consider not going through with it. But this might be the answer I was looking for, and it might be for some other people, as well.

tl;dr: if you related to this post, just know that I'm getting screened for personality disorders. Do with that information what you will.

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/Ok-Set8094 on 2023-08-11 19:00:50.

I tried submitting a waiver, but it was denied by the surgeon general. So it is over for me, I will never get to join the military. I know people in this sub hates on the military, but it hurts when your childhood dream is no longer obtainable

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/ernst13579 on 2023-08-11 13:54:12.

When I lay down, eg. in the afternoon, close my eyes, wait, open my eyes and see on the clock that 1 hour passed, I conclude that I was asleep.

My wife tells me, she feels falling asleep/waking up.

Can you tell, whether you slept or not, if asked after not a very long time laying down?

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/Sijutre on 2023-08-11 08:24:44.

Is it actual possible I have all these things or am I just crazy ? I guess to me no matter what I look up my symptoms just seem to fit the bill. I guess what’s weird to me is I was able to climb through a company of NT people out competing 100s to become a manager of 100+ people. Like how could I be that messed up but people seem to think I know what I’m doing ?

I’m undiagnosed on asbergers and not looking for a diagnosis just wondering if anyone else has experienced that feeling like do I actually have this if on the surface I am able to function in society. In reality I’m a 24:7 anxious mess but do you think my masking can actually be that good or maybe I’ve just psyched myself into thinking I have asbergers

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/Actual-Maintenance40 on 2023-08-11 16:06:16.

I will now have to work with other people instead only in my cubicle, and propably attend meetings with people and communicate with them, I have no idea why was I chosen as I'm literally an autistic kid, I'm so screwed now:(

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/OnlyTheVoidRemains on 2023-08-11 10:19:41.

I have had a diagnosis from a major ivy league institution since I was 7 years old. I was retested at 17 and then again at 25.

I am now 36 and I have crossed into some seriously dark territory. In the past year I have suffered the loss of some extraordinary relationships, including a girlfriend of 4 years, a business which was my passion and fixation, and now I am dealing with a DUI charge/cop encounter which has been eating at my sanity for months because I am under threat of possibly 6 months of jail time. Just a few days ago, a girl I had been seeing for the last 6 months (who I was reluctant to open up to for a few months based on my past long term girlfriend) ripped what was left of my heart out of my chest and then, to add insult to injury, decided to say that I used my ASD "as a crutch" to try and manipulate the world around me for my benefit.

Considering all of this in the last year, also realize that in the last three years I have suffered watching not one, not two, but three former band mates take their lives after succumbing to either depression, addiction or both.

This is all only a synopsis of the last three years. If I went further back in time and gave you all a rundown of the last 20 you all would be overwhelmed and sick to your stomachs.

My friends, I am tired. I am weathered, battered, beaten, bruised, and bleeding from my soul and there is very little left to feel at this point that is positive. The amount of trauma I have endured from my professional and social lives to my romantic and sexual exploits continues to pile up at a record pace. Every negative thing that happens is now cementing itself in my mind and embedding in my subconscious in a way it hasn't previously and it is devastating. The most recent break up scenario was a serious dam breaking event in my life--the person I will get over, but the elements have been released in a cascading wave of misery, agony and pain where I fear there is no going back.

I feel like Odysseus. I have been through so many battles and all I want is to go home and find peace in my life. I want to be able to feel and love and not always be on guard with people, worrying if they will exploit my vulnerabilities or abandon me in future hours of need. I want to be able to just be me and not constantly mask, but I know what that will yield. I feel this ever encroaching darkness that I am always running from, yet I feel it drawing closer as I retreat from each subsequent battle.

I am hurting. I worry that my fighting days are coming to a close. I am in intensive therapy with the 35th therapist I have had in my life. I don't even know if that works anymore. But I do so hoping to survive.

Every day, from the moment I get up, I experience intense emotional pain that I didn't even think was possible.

Every day, I get further away from my humanity and I feel I don't know who I am anymore. My experiences are morphing me into someone I am not. And I feel like I can't stop it.

I am well aware life is not all sunshine and rainbows--no one understands this more than me. But there is no possible fucking way people are engineered to live in this sort of misery on the daily.

Lend me your strength, friends, I beg of you.

I just want to end this by saying I love you all.

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/interplanetarystd on 2023-08-11 14:49:29.

I think I might finally be ready to accept loneliness and throw in the friend making towel. Since learning that I was on the spectrum a few months ago Ive tried to reach out to and befriend a few autistic people but its gone about as well, perhaps worse, than trying to befriend NT’s. Most of the autistic people I tried talking to on this autistic app eventually stopped replying, perhaps I am just boring.

However I did meet two people I felt like I was starting to befriend until things fell apart. One girl I talked to for a few months but we werent compatible socially, she said that I didn’t know how to talk to people and often there were misunderstandings. Eventually I blocked her because she seemed to misunderstand me greatly and led to her making hurtful comments, I could’nt take it.

Then I meet another autistic girl and we talked for about a week. Seemed to be going really well, I saw a lot of myself in her and we related a lot but I did notice that she seemed to be very self absorbed, like more-so than they say we are as is. Then she got upset and said I was texting her too much so I apologized and she wanted me to buy her stuff to make up for it and I got a weird feeling in my gut. I declined and then she says Im gaslighting and being abusive and that Im a dangerous person who’s going to hurt people. Blocked.

Im so tired of trying to make friends. Doesnt matter if its NT or ND, people will always judge me harshly for the smallest things and make assumptions about me. Im tired of being kind and considerate to others only to get the opposite in return. And to think I had the nerve to feel optimistic about connecting with a community and finding “my people”. Being an outsider is one thing but being an outsider even amongst outsiders is a different level of loneliness.

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/atumdeez on 2023-08-11 10:26:28.

No i don't know how to, no i don't know what feels natural or being myself. just tell me how to flirt, plain text no "look her into the eyes and give her a compliment while flapping your left ear during a full moon as you flex your glutes". like bro i compliment my friends now and then but that doesnt make it flirty, i tell my friend he's strong or that his lifts are great but that doesnt make it flirty as i said earlier.

I can be friends with people, and work mates but fuck if i knew how to flirt or do romantic things.

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/MetalCascade on 2023-08-11 09:52:53.

There was a time playing GTA Vice City used to bring me a lot of pleasure or Fallout3/NV/4 they used to bring me to a different world.

In the last while (about 5 years i suppose) I feel overwhelmed by everything. If you've ever seen the shawshank redemption I feel like brooks. The only time I feel happy is after some opioids. I'm fed up of living in fear all the time.

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/theinfamousvidal on 2023-08-11 07:04:31.

It seems like most of aspies suffer or suffered from bullying. It's not my case. I suffered from isolation and self-hatred, but not from bullying.

I used to think that I've been a victim of bullying for years. Because I had no genuine friends back in school, and in high schools. I was exactly the opposite of a popular guy, I wasn't respected. I used to cry about it. Now I figure out that, I've been just playing the victim role while in fact, I was the bully one. I was very annoying and aggresive, direct, when I was younger. I used to disturb others with unappropiate words and actions, and I remember I used to mock both popular and disabled people. One day, I attacked a girl of my age, to the point she bleed. I also engaged in fights with a very innocent guy I used to manipulate, I used to lie a lot. I used to mock fat guys and girls, and I used to repeat bad actions from the major bullies.

My classmates were complaining about my behaviour all the time, but teachers didn't make a move because of my ADHD and autism diagnosis. So, yeah, I was just playing the victim unconsciounsly, but I was the bully one. I tend to misread other people's intentions and emotional reactions so I'm sorry.

What about you? Were you bullied, or a bully? Unrelated?

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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/NoParamedic1176 on 2023-08-11 02:32:36.

Hi, I just wanted to share my experience.

When you think about asian household clichés you would totally think of the highly disciplined and hardworking family one.

I wouldn't say that mine wasn't, we are a family of six and I'm the youngest one.

My father would always push us to work harder and bring good marks, but when my parents divorced when I was 13 I chosed to live with my mother, she was just kind and caretaking I guess.

I still picked up on my father values who is relatively honest and individualistic. I would say that the rigid typical Asian experience with strict parenting depicted in your overzealous sit coms and parody would have fitted my life experience better.

As the youngest one, you could think that I was the most cherished one or the "leftover child". I was the latter, considering that I was also diagnosed with autism when I was 6 and later with ADHD when I was 11 and 4 months.

I never realized until now about the cherished child stereotype or how parents should interact a different way with autistic children.

I don't resent my parents but sometime I feel like I need some support, I live on my own, I'm 22 and a student, I cut contact with family and I'm falling into the trap. I always want to achieve everything my own and not ask for help because I feel that I can only rely on myself. I had a huge meltdown last Monday after my internship, it hit way harder than the previous ones, and as a child it would be more frequently but more bearable , but this one was bringing me to complete exhaustion and getting bedridden for almost 10 days.

I know where I'm going, but that is the problem. I don't want to do a job that is why I pursued studies.

Also as I always am "rational and ratherly cold" to people that aren't my friends, I hear and feel everyone dissing on me but it's okay. As an Asian people tell me I'm good at maths and sciences, when people consider me like a normal human and learn that I am autistic they say that it's because of my condition. But then I happen to cry, I happen to feel deeply and frequently and now I'm no more the "autistic logical" man.

I feel like I don't fit even a little in boxes even the ones I'm supposed to be stereotyped in.

I have the need to be alienated, I think so, so I can relieve myself from myself. I surely know that I can chose it independently of others' judgement but to be put into boxes conveniently can sometime be easier to live on...