Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NoBookkeeper3376 on 2023-08-11 13:33:27.

I (28M) am getting married in three months to my fiancée, Clara (27F). Everything was going smoothly until the issue of my younger brother, Alex (25M), came up.

Alex has been dating Tina (24F) for about a year. Tina, before dating my brother, had a short-lived fling with my best friend, Derek. Derek and Tina ended on bad terms, and Derek confessed to me that Tina had cheated on him during their relationship. Given that Derek is not only my best friend but also my best man, I didn’t want any potential drama or discomfort at the wedding.

So, I made the decision to invite Alex to the wedding, but asked him to come alone, without Tina. I explained my reasons, saying it was to avoid any possible tension. Alex was hurt and said he won’t attend if Tina isn’t welcome.

My family got wind of this and is divided. Some say I’m justified because it’s my day and I should be able to choose who’s there, while others think I’m being judgmental and punishing Tina for a past mistake. I feel like I’m trying to ensure peace on my special day, but I also recognize that I might be denying my brother the chance to share in a significant life event with his partner.

AITA for not inviting Tina based on her past relationship and actions?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NioRoka on 2023-08-11 11:11:23.

I (F24) was recently talking to my younger sister (F22) and she mentioned she had an upcoming date with a 36 year old man. I immediately asked her to please cancel the date as in my opinion no guy that age has good intentions with a girl her age, and it's a huge red flag.

She brought up our mother who's in her late 60s going on a date with a guy in his 80s to which I responded that it was completely different as they are fully formed, fully matured adults who likely have similar life goals.

She then said I was being a hypocrite, that she was more mature than most girls her age, called me a judgemental asshole and stormed off.

This isn't the first time we've had an argument about this kind of thing, the last time was about her ex who she started dating when she was 15/16 and he was 18/19 (can't recall the exact ages). Both times she's called me a judgemental asshole.

I say what I say out of concern, as I genuinely just don't trust the kinds of guys she tends to go for, but am I overstepping when I call this sort of thing out?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PriorityPlayful8781 on 2023-08-11 14:04:22.

This happened last weekend. My dad and his wife, Sandy, were attending a wedding last weekend and hired a babysitter for my stepsister Abby (5f). I (16m) was supposed to do it but I work now so they had to hire someone to stay the weekend with Abby.

The background is simple. Dad and Sandy met 4 years ago. I met her 3 months after my dad did and Abby like a week later. Abby suffers from nightmares pretty frequently. She would always seek someone out at night when she had them, usually her mom, though sometimes me, and I would always send her to her mom. This has been happening since she was 3.

So my dad and Sandy left Friday afternoon and were gone until Sunday afternoon. Friday night Abby had a nightmare and came to me and asked to sleep in my bed. I sent her back to her room and woke the babysitter who sat with her for a while. Abby was really upset about it and didn't sleep well that night and didn't sleep at all Saturday night. When my dad and Sandy got home they were furious with me for not letting Abby sleep with me.

Dad told me he's aware I don't see Abby as my sister but wouldn't I let a small kid sleep with me to help them after a nightmare. I said no. I would not be comfortable with that. He told me it's something I should get comfortable with for Abby's sake, so she can have a good brother to rely on. I told him that was not something I was going to work on. That other than Abby I doubt I will ever be asked by a kid unless that kid is my own and that will be different.

Sandy said it was my job to help her kid and that I made last weekend hell for her daughter.

All week dad and Sandy have been pissed about it. My mom died when I was 6 and I don't have extended family so I haven't been able to talk about this with anyone.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EqualBudget_3179 on 2023-08-11 13:12:50.

This will be my first year in college. When I got accepted, the 1st person I told was my uncle. We’re very close because he took care of me when I was little because of my parent’s crazy work schedules. Anyway, my grades were good enough to get me in but not enough to get me any scholarships. That means I’ll have to take out loans for tuition and work for my expenses. When my uncle found out, he said I should just concentrate on school instead of working but my dad (his brother) said that money is tight right now so my parents can’t help me out as much as they want to. My uncle has investment properties all over the place so he said it’s not a big deal for him to buy another one near my campus, which he did. Then he had contractors renovate the house so emerging in there is brand new. He even had them install a bay window in the master bedroom just for me and I got to pick out everything else like the carpet and counters. He told me he wants me to concentrate on school and not work. Instead, I can be his landlady and rent out the other 3 bedrooms and keep that money to fund my expenses.

I have a group of friends who are attending the same school so I made a deal with them. Studio apartments are going between $900-1500 (not including utilities) around the campus with the expensive ones being closer. My uncle’s house is one street over from campus so I can literally walk to class everyday. I’m charging my friends $700 per room or if they double up, $350 per person per month and split utilities evenly. They all jumped at the offer and no one asked any questions until recently when one of them asked me how much the overall rent was. I was honest and told them about my uncle and our deal. That blew up in my face because now everyone of my friends are calling me greedy for charging them rent then pocketing the money. We’re all in a huge fight and they all want to either pay nothing or “throw a couple hundred” in for utilities.

I cried to my uncle but he said now that I’m an adult, I need to make my own adult decision. He’ll stand by my decision. I don’t want to lose my friends but I don’t want to disappoint my family with bad grades either. I thought I was being fair with rent but literally all of my friends are calling me a greedy AH.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/incrayjocks on 2023-08-11 12:59:01.

I (28, male) worked at a bakery for about 6 months. We would just sort and bake pre-baked stuff and sell it to our customers and if needed, give them advice to what kind of bread they would prefer. It was my first job as a salesperson.

We had a whatsapp group, where we would receive important information about the business or incoming changes. But some of the older ladies would use the group to vent about other co-workers. Which was fine, because they are old and our boss was one of them.

In my first week I had the closing shift with one of my younger co-workers, Sarah (22, female). We tried to leave the place as clean as possible. Since I was new and Sarah was a trainee we weren't able to finish all of our tasks punctually, but at least the important ones, like doing the invoice and depreciation. We also cleaned all the vending shelfs and the bread cutter.

Now imagine waking up to your furiously vibrating phone and seeing one of the older ladies, Iris (56, female) writing: "The bakery looks terrible! This is not acceptable!" I responded: "Is it possible for you to say that in a more constructive way?" That was when Iris got defensive and wrote stuff like "That was constructive! I don't know what the issue is. I told you what was wrong, you need to learn!" Since I was treated terrible at my traineeship years before that job, I honestly wouldn't let that kind of stuff slide anymore. So I answered: "First of all, you didn't say what was "terrible" and second, you knew I had closing shift yesterday, so why would you write it in the group instead of explaining my mistakes to me in private?" The older ladies became defensive, too. One of them told me to instantly come to my workplace so she can show me.

It was flour. Not even a bunch of flour, but flour dust on the coffee machine.

Still, I apologized to Iris, because I still was a Newbie and she clearly was too sensitive for such a fight. Her reaction to my apology made me think it was over.

She literally quit the job the next day. She was employed for over 10 years. She told everyone that my misbehaviour as a younger generation made her uncomfortable and I didn't have any respect towards her as an older person. The other ladies came over that day to have a talk. They all said the same and were mad at me.

That was when I snapped and told them: "If a grown woman decides to quit a job because of that, it is not my fault. If a grown adult is not able to take the bavklash of their behaviour, it is not my problem. And if y'all want my respect, you better start respecting me, too. Because I don't care about your age, we earn the same amount of money and have the same rank. You earn what you sow."

So, am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hot_Cup_1271 on 2023-08-11 10:01:34.

I (24f) have been with my boyfriend "Jack" (25m) for 2 years. We have been living together for just over a year.

I have always been fond of cooking and usually make a lot of Asian dishes as I grew up eating a lot of them. So as a result I do use soy sauce and sometimes some msg. However when I got together with my bf he has mentioned how he is very allergic to soy, so I had to be extra careful what I make. He has also mentioned how his parents dismissed his allergy and we had a long discussion about his allergies. I take allergies seriously due to an incident with a family member a few years ago, so when we moved in together I ended up purchasing an entire new cooking set to make sure there's no cross contamination.

Last week we went to see his family as they invited us over to their place. I have met them before and we had lunch together at a local restaurant, however we haven't visited them due to how far they live.

During the visit Jack went to pick up his brother from a gig (our car is 2 seater), so I was there with his mother "Annie" while she was making a BBQ. At some point I saw her adding a lot of soy sauce to the marinade for all the meat and said she can't do that as Jack is allergic to soy sauce, meaning he won't be able to eat it. Annie said not to worry and that Jack loves this marinada and she already made the first bunch. I have reminded her again that Jack can not eat it as it is not safe for him, in short we ended up in an argument until Jack came back. When Jack returned he was confused why am I arguing with his mother and ate one of the glazed wings in the marinade. I was shocked and tried to tell him they have soy, but he said do not worry as they are very tasty and he is fine. I have asked about the allergies and he said he didn't have any and just doesn't always like it in his food as sometimes food tastes very salty with it. Now his entire family are calling me a controlling asshole and demand a proper apology to Annie for "insulting her cooking". I have apologised and said this happened due to what Jack said, but they are not having any of it.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/birthdaybook on 2023-08-11 11:41:21.

I (F just turned 25) have a friend, “Logan” (M25), and we’ve been friends since we were 7/8. I have a boyfriend “Matt” who I’ve been dating for 7 months.

My birthday was last week, and I had a dinner party for some friends before we all went out to a club. There was 8 of including Logan and Matt. We had a little bit of a “gift opening” before dessert, and Logan gifted me an old copy of The Great Gatsby.

The book has a special significance to us, because for many years Logan and I lived in different countries. We kept in contact, but we didn’t see each other in person for about 4 years. We finally got our parents to agree for me to fly to his country to visit in 2013. We were talking about what we were going to do on the visit and I really wanted to go and see The Great Gatsby movie, which had just come out, as it is my favourite book. Logan had never even heard of it, and I said he had to read it before we went to see the movie. Logan was never academic, and to this day it is the only fiction book he’s ever read all the way through (not counting children’s books). Whenever I ask him to do me a favour he always replies with “I read The Great Gatsby for you, so I may as well” and it’s a running joke.

We always go big on birthdays but this book means so much to me.

The day after, Matt said he felt the book was an inappropriate gift, because of how expensive it is. I tried to explain to him that it’s just a sentimental gift and that the cost isn’t the point, but Matt said he feels weird that another man gifted me something that costs more than his car. This argument went on for a long time and Matt said that he thinks I should return the book, and if it means so much to both of us then Logan can keep it. I told him to grow up.

We’ve been having this fight on and off for a week. Matt’s saying that it’s reasonable for him to be uncomfortable but I think he’s being a jealous child. It’s not like Logan gave me a giant diamond necklace just to show off, he gave me something heartfelt that means the world to me, and I think that should be more important than the fact that Matt thinks it’s outside what he deems an acceptable budget.

My mother is saying to give Matt the benefit of the doubt and maybe ask Logan to keep the book for now and if one day Matt is more secure I can take it back. My dad is saying Matt’s an idiot. My girlfriends are split.

This argument is just dragging on and I’m leaving for my birthday trip tomorrow and I just need some perspective on whether I’m being unreasonable wanting to keep the book?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Unique_Ad7619 on 2023-08-11 09:22:50.

Obligatory burner account because some friends and coworkers follow my main.

As the title says, my coworker offered me ice cream. I declined, stating that I'm severely lactose intolerant and cannot have milk or cream. She already knew that, so it was more of a reminder to her that I'm lactose intolerant. She then told me it's vegan and I asked are you sure, to which she reassured me that it is in fact vegan. For what it's worth, the ice cream was one of those Japanese Mochi green tea ice creams. About a half hour after I ate it I started feeling stomach cramps and when I checked the trash for any remnants of the ice cream, I realized that it was in fact regular ice cream.

For background, this coworker has a long history of not telling the truth and/or pranking people, and I should have known better than to trust her. She will do things like text that she is going to be late or not able to come to work, as she is either on the way to work or already at work, she will say our other coworker told her he isn't coming to work only for her to laugh when he shows up. She even pretended to come out to me as lesbian and then laughed at me for believing her.

So, when I realized she had lied to me to get me to eat real ice cream, I lost me shit. Mind you this was at about hour 11 of a 12 hour double shift and for more background info we work in a retail food space so there were customers around. I should also add that I am a male and we are around the same age late 30s/early 40s.

In front of the customers I did raise my voice at her yelling that it was absolutely fucked up that she would do that, knowing that I'm going to have to be stuck in the bathroom for the next few hours. And that she, as a vegetarian should know better and that I would never trick her into eating meat. My description makes it sound kinda tame but I was actually shouting at some point and aggressively pointing my finger at her.

She then went to the owner of the store and cried. I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour spewing out brown water before racing home to continue my throne sitting for a few more hours at least in the comfort of my own home.

Now that I've calmed down, I feel like in my rage I was acting abusive in my reaction and should have kept my cool better. So I decided to let you all decide if I was an asshole or not.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Big_Bet_7434 on 2023-08-11 11:28:51.

The punishment was issued because our 8 year old son faked being sick the day of his dad's wedding so he wouldn't be there. Ex got married last weekend. My ex was furious when he found out and the truth came out because he went home to check on our son in the afternoon and found our son perfectly fine after saying that morning that his stomach hurt really bad and he felt like he was going to be sick and actually pretended to have puked at some point that morning. So ex and his wife were upset but decided if he wasn't feeling good he should stay home. The babysitter also told ex our son seemed fine once everyone was gone and he'd been normal.

Our son admitted it to his dad when asked directly and ex grounded him for a month and told him he would not be having any kind of fun when he missed something as important as his wedding, and the day their family became bigger.

When the exchange day took place ex sent me this long, in depth email about what our son had done, the punishment he had set, and that he expected me to continue the punishment at my house so our son could be grounded for 4 consecutive weeks instead of spreading it over two months.

I spoke to our son when we were home and he admitted to me that he was really upset about his dad getting married and the fact things at his house were now permanent and that he didn't love that his stepmom was now his stepmom and her daughters were now his stepsisters. I told him I would make him an appointment with his therapist. She got him in quickly and they had a good talk.

I also decided not to continue the grounding at my house. I notified my ex. He was pissed. His wife was pissed. They told me mine and ex's son had disrespected both of them and had disrespected his new sisters by avoiding the celebration of them all becoming one family. I told them that Callum (son) was struggling with all the changes and he's had trouble adjusting to us no longer being together and us both having new partners who have other kids. That I had gotten him therapy for that very reason and that ex chose not to bring our son when he has him, as is his right, but I also have the right to take a different approach to this.

Ex said that our son never told him these things and I should be backing him up. I pointed out our son did tell him. It was two years ago but he did tell him and he gave him attitude for it. Ex said it was no excuse and I should help punish him. I told him I want our son to tell me things so I will always try to find ways to help him without punishing him.

Ex and his wife say I'm an asshole and I should continue the punishment. She said I would not allow my son to dictate my life or that I would not like him skipping something like that of mine. I told her I delayed furthering my relationship until my son is more comfortable and I did so because he wasn't behaving the best around them and we talked and I realized he'd need help and time.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Novel-Assignment4684 on 2023-08-11 08:07:45.

I (42m) and my wife (42f) have been together for almost 15 years and married for the last. We have 3 beautiful children (all under 12) together and I have a early teenage step daughter who is with every other weekend. We are in love, love and adore each other and our family. I work as an executive, she is a SAHM.

Since the birth of our youngest (6 years ago) our love life has suffered terribly, but not for the reasons you think (just kids). Prior to our 6th, we were intimate 4-5 times a week - not necessarily sex, but intimate - and everything was running beautifully. After our youngest was born, 3rd by caesarean, my wife suffered from post-natal depression, which naturally put things on hold. No stress, buckle down and do whatever is needed to support and get sorted. It's happened many times.

However things haven't recovered since then. My wife has had a shocking track record with sustained chronic injury and illnesses that have rendered her only partially mobile and unable to work. In the last 4 years, we've made love no more than 5 times. I am currently her carer, taking her to appointments, waiting on her hand and foot when needed, running kids around, doing the household chores while doing 50-ish hours a week for my work, which is excellent for my stage of my career. We have little money, as most of our money is going on here care and anything else we need for the kids (my 8yrd old is autistic).

As it stands now, pretty much all of my spare effort time and energy is spent on caring for her, the house or the kids. I am lucky if i get an hour a week to spend on myself. And in terms of intimacy, it's just not there. I miss the feeling of another human wanting me for me - not as a carer to take care of another task for them, but someone who sees me and wants me as a person in their life romantically.

I won't leave - it would break her heart. I can't talk to her about it without making her feel like shit and the only thing i get close to intimacy is the odd cuddle in bed - when it doesn't make her uncomfortable - and a kiss good bye in the morning. Other than that, i feel pretty much worthless, undesirable, and useless aside from my ability to provide.

So, in all of that, WIBTA if i were to find intimacy outside of the relationship, knowing that i would never break up our home? My two very good friends are split and are looking out for me. HELP!

*** edit: Many commenters have said 'talk to your wife!' And the answer to that is i've been trying to have a conversation for the last couple of years. The other point is that im not seeking the ok to get sex elsewhere - im weighing the opinions of friends. Yes i'm desperate and lonely and feeling incredibly inloved and unwanted. The intimacy i seek isnt hust sex - otherwise pulling myself would relieve it. I have put myself last in our family for the last few years... and i'm breaking. Thanks for everyones thoughtful comments.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Late_House105 on 2023-08-11 11:30:00.

I (32 m) have been married to my wonderful wife (30 f) for just around 6 years. We have been talking about starting our family for all of those years, so you can imagine our excitement when we could finally start our family after all this time. My wife went into labour last week and my baby’s head was to big for her to push him out. Which led to her having a emergency C-section. When my baby was delivered i was overjoyed, i asked the nurse if i could see my baby. When they handed me my baby they also informed me that my wife had passed out and most likely wouldn’t be awake for sometime . When i was looking into my gorgeous baby boys eyes i saw my pop pop (my grandfather) staring right back at me, i knew exactly what to name my beautiful boy. Crendel, i understand that the name may sound bizarre but my pop pop meant a lot to me so when he passed i knew that i needed to honour his name in the right way, and this is how i have decided to do it. I signed the papers and patiently waited for my wife to wake up so i introduce her to our handsome young boy, when she woke up and i told her the name she chuckled quietly and asked if i was joking. i silently shook my head and explained how much the name meant to me. her facial expression changed in the blink of an eye and she kept asking if i was serious. I showed her the paper and told her i wasn’t joking. Tears started to pool in her eyes as she sobbed telling me to get out. I’m assuming she had called her mum into the room as i was told i needed to get out of the room. My wife’s sobs soon filled the hallway as i knew i had hurt her feelings. She has now left the hospital and is currently living with her parents, I’ve tried to contact her, her mother and even her father, they all declined my calls and texted me telling me what I did wasn’t ok. I just want to see my family again as they are all i have. I understand naming our baby with her not being conscious was probably not the smartest thing. But we have had multiple conversations about how much my pop pop means to me. So am i the asshole?

Edit: obviously we talked about names, don’t assume that just because I didn’t put it in the story doesn’t mean we didn’t talk about it. none of the names stuck between us, and I was very caught up in the moment of seeing my beautiful baby boy.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/VeterinarianOdd2007 on 2023-08-11 08:53:40.

My fiancé (31M) and I (30f) have a pretty good relationship all expect for the fact he keeps eating my food because I don’t eat it fast enough. I’m a very small woman only 4’11 and I’ve always struggled with Ed mostly binging. For once in my life I’m listening to my hunger cues and I only eat when I’m actually hungry and stop when I’m not. This has led to me eating 1-2 times a day. And sometimes I don’t finish it all because I’m full. I always save it for later if I feel hungry I’ll eat it. I went to the doctors who stated that’s perfectly fine.

I’m also a pescatarian but I mostly eat non meat products. Beyond, gardien, morning star, impossible, etc. I also don’t drink normal milk because it makes me sick so I drink almond milk. My fiancé is not he eats meat, drink normal milk, and eats 3 times a day. So we often buy different items to suit our needs. However he always manages to eat my stuff. I brought specialized noodles from Korea, he ate them. I leave my left overs in the fridge he eats them. I make enough for today and tomorrow he’ll eat my portion and his because I didn’t eat mine within a day. He will eat my special vegan and vegetarian food even though he has his own meat products.

I talk to him about him, I said I’m fine with sharing but please ask. And to not be selfish by eating the last of something that’s mine. He apologized and did as I asked. It lasted about 2-3week. Well today I guess he decided to stop. I didn’t wanna cook so I made myself an egg sandwich with fries (air fryer). That was at around 3pm. I felt hungry at around 9pm so I decided I eat some cereal. Ah yeah, no I wasn’t because he drunk all my almond milk. I said okay I’ll just eat noodles, he ate my noodles and left the empty box. I said okey I’ll make a parfait I have those light and fit yogurts that taste like desert and some granola. Well he ate my yogurts and all the granola. He was sleeping I admit I was angry so I woke him up and yell to stop eating my shit. I feel bad, and like I’m an ass for yelling at him. But I feel like the little time I do eat I don’t have a selection because he eats everything.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ferrite5 on 2023-08-11 07:14:57.

My wife(31f) is the youngest of 4 siblings, and they're from a poor, rural family. She and I(29m) met in college and got married after we graduated. During the pandemic, 3 major things happened. Her dad passed away, her mom retired with no savings, and her one of her brothers got a DUI and couldn't hold a steady job.

To keep a long story short, MIL lives with us, SIL mismanaged their dad's estate (also is in massive debt) and owes my wife money, and DUI BIL is regularly asking for money to pay for gas, food, and bills. Another BIL is an alcoholic that also just lost his job. Last BIL lives across the country, and i can guess why. On top of that, none of her siblings is willing or able to help MIL financially. I did the math and we basically paid for two of her siblings' inflation over the last two years. Probably over 8k.

Finally, the entire family refuses to communicate directly and is super passive aggressive. They all use my wife as a middleman. I'm at my wits end and it's been affecting our marriage.

I finally blew up and ranted about her family, and demanded we stop giving away our money to her siblings if they're just going to keep making bad decisions and act stupid. Wife is pissed that I've been insulting her family (during the argument and over the last few months) and that my MIL has overheard. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Borgara on 2023-08-11 06:41:52.

I (30F) work for a company that is known for its good salaries and I earn 25% more than my husband (42M).

Even though neither of us has any generational wealth or passive income sources, our salaries allow us to live very comfortably, with most of our income going into savings.

Hy husband's job is of very high demand and he has multiple opportunities to perhaps earn even more than me. He prefers to stay at his current job though because his work is light and he has a great work life balance, relaxing, doing hobbies and enjoying our daughter way more than me.

On the other hand, even though I love my job, I work more hours than him, and this is not something I can negotiate with my employer.

AITA for not wanting to split our ridiculously low expenses based on our salary percentage difference? It feels that this adds an extra layer of calculations when splitting costs, plus as a gesture I feel as if my husband is charging me for income tax, like another gov mechansim 😅 If he needed the money he could have changed job.

He says that if I'm all about equality between partners, this is the fair way to do it.

TLDR; my husband earns less than me because he chooses to, yet he wants us to split costs based on salary difference percentages

Edit for context:

I was paying 50-50 some years ago that I was barely earning enough to survive. Even as a student while he already had a job.

Another edit: He is not providing extra child care while I am working. He can choose to pick up our daughter earlier some days from daycare/grandpa's, when he's up for it. House chores are split 50-50

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ProblemSulver on 2023-08-10 20:30:24.

Background: When my wife and I first met, we talked about our dreams and aspirations. She originally had ambitions of being successful business or private sector. But after we tied the knot, she had a change of heart and decided she wanted to teach. We live in a state notorious for its underfunded schools, so I expressed my concerns, thinking she’d struggle and be unhappy. Even with my reservations and having to pay for her degree, she became a teacher and has been at it for 4 years now.

The problem: She’s miserable and so am I. She always vents about her challenging students, which can sometimes border on dangerous behavior. It’s become a nightly ritual that’s driving a wedge between us. I dread it. Part of me just wants to say, “I told you so,” but I’ve held my tongue. Since she became a teacher we rarely have sex or become romantic. However, on Monday night, after hearing the same ole complaints for the thousandth time, I snapped and told her to shut up about it. It sparked an argument and then we went to bed. Since she’s been silent ever since and it’s becoming very petty and i know it can also explode.

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Potential-Spend-3987 on 2023-08-11 08:17:54.

My wife passed away suddenly after giving birth to our daughter five years ago. My parents and sisters have spent the last four years telling me to move on.

I cannot.

You know how amputees get phantom pain in their missing limbs. It's like that. Except it's everything that's missing. I took my daughter to a street performers festival in my city and my heart ached because I went to buy some kettle corn. I hate kettle corn. My wife loved it. I was buying something I hate for someone who isn't there.

My mother did the cruelest thing I can imagine. She told my daughter that she should ask for a new mommy for her birthday.

I wasn't polite in dealing with that. I told her that if her or my sisters ever tried to bring a woman into my life I would leave the city with my daughter and they would never see us again.

Now all three of my sisters and my father have called me to yell at me for threatening my mother and them. They say that they are only trying to help and that I'm an asshole for not accepting the inevitable.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/FormerFruit on 2023-08-09 11:57:11.

I bought a computer for study a few months ago. About 2 years ago my sister spilled tea all over it, she never apologised, never admitted it, never offered to pay for a new one. I am convinced my mother doesn’t believe me what happened that night and that is why she has never said anything to her about it. For the record I am 28 and she is 33. I am still upset about it today but whatever. I bought a new one a few months ago and have resulted in becoming possessive over it. I’m scared it will be broken again and I don’t let people touch it. The other day I got up for two minutes, sister came back from a walk, I usually put the thing away when she is around. I got up for two minutes and by the time I got back she had thrown her rubbish on it to spite me. Ice cream wrapping just to spite me. I was crying and screaming in frustration begging her to stay away from it. Mum told us to shut up calling us animals. I turned on her and told her to shut up. I’m trying to protect my property and I’m not spending more money. I told her she sat back and did nothing while the computer was being broken the last time and how she believed my sisters lies over me, which I’ll never forgive her for.

I know I probably overreacted, I just got so upset. AITA?