triptrapper

Thank you for expanding on that point. I meant it to be a "here's how we got here" before the rest of my "this is where we are today."

You're totally right, and any conversation about men's behavior at large should include the experiences you just described. Even though we didn't get ourselves into this situation - in that we didn't raise ourselves - we're the ones who will get us out.

I'm a therapist who works almost exclusively with men. Here one pattern I've seen often:

• Man is conditioned from a young age not to identify, process or express his feelings
• Man doesn't share his feelings with anyone - friends, family, partners - for years
• Man sees woman as safe, caring and validating
• Man confides in woman only and continues not sharing feelings with others
• Woman becomes overwhelmed, resentful, dismissive
• Man gets the message that he never should have opened up in the first place

It can be true both that men need to open up more and should not treat their partners as therapists. We all need support systems because no one person can always be available to give us everything we need. It's not wrong to confide in a partner, but if that partner is the only confidant it's precarious for both. And I want to emphasize this is not the fault of a man, or men as a community. This is the result of generations of conditioning from both men and women, and both men and women play a part in the solution. I also want to recognize that many of us don't have a network of people we could open up to even if we wanted to, and many more can't afford therapy.

If anyone reading this can afford therapy, I highly recommend it. It's a place to undo some of that conditioning, to sit with someone who's committed to listening, caring, and not judging.

young people feeling depressed and isolated is the least of your problems.

Children are the future of EVERY country. The future is looking bleak for young people in the US. Where do you live? Are young people unaffected by social media or what?

Out here in actual civilization though, tik tok youth drama is not representative of reality whatsoever.

That's the thing though. It's hard for me to wrap my head around sometimes, but for lots of young people, social media IS their reality. This became even more true during the pandemic. We asked young people to go to school on a screen and pretend it was the same as doing it in person. Why wouldn't they have the same mindset about chatting, hanging out, flirting, dating, etc.? They don't see it as simulated socializing, it's just how they socialize.

This isn't really an answer to your question, but psychiatrist Arthur Kleinman came up with 8 assessment questions for asking patients to describe their conditions. The questions are designed to allow for cultural or spiritual explanations outside of the typical Western medical model.

• What do you call your problem? What name does it have?
• What do you think caused your problem?
• Why do you think it started when it did?
• What does your sickness do to you? How does it work?
• How severe is your sickness? How long do you expect it to last?
• What do you fear most about your illness?
• What are the biggest problems that your illness has caused for you?
• What kind of treatment do you think you should receive? What are the most important results you hope to receive from treatment?

911 dispatcher: A kidnapping? Those kidnappers need our help!

Thank you so much.

I moved 1/3 into international funds (VWICX), but the expense ratio is much higher and I can't tell whether it's offsetting any gains. Are you willing to share which funds you're invested in?

This ghoul has CHILDREN?

Well said. Thanks for writing this.

Crime of the Century is excellent. It's a perfect blend of heavy addiction stories, medical malpractice and white collar crime mystery.

Holy fucking shit. Gifting BCBS and UHC 250,000 new members to rip off. And for what?

I feel sick watching it. As others have said, because of J6 and past accusations of fraud from the other side, it will be hard to discuss this with a lot of people without sounding insane.