pixxelkick

joined 1 year ago
[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 85 points 1 week ago (4 children)

She didn't become a millionaire afaik.

She has a podcast that's slightly popular and was already well off.

Anon might stop feeling so jealous if they perhaps stopped making up random facts, or believing lies on the internet?

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

But they also know that 99% of rapists are men, and 91% of victims are women, that added to the aforementioned 1 in 6~ women that will have been raped in their lifetime means they are gambling just being alone with a man.

1 in 6 sexually assaulted, not raped, to start. Which is still way too high but don't get it twisted.

Second, these 2 numbers actually have no functional relation to the odds of a random man being a rapist.

If you have 1000 people (500/500 men/women) and 1 of them is a rapist, and a man, you could say "100% of the rapists in this group are men"

Which is true, but what you actually care about is, in that case, only 1/500 of men in that crowd are a rapist.

As for the 1/6 women are assaulted, it's a similiar issue.

If that 1 man proceeds to rape 50 women, you now could say (and be totally correct) that:

  • 100% of the crowds rapists are men
  • 100% of the victims were women
  • 1 in 10 women got raped

But all of that actually is missing the fact that in reality, if one of those women picked a man at random to be alone with, it'd only be a 1 in 500 chance she got the rapist.

Now. These are obviously hyperbole facts to demonstrate the mathematical hole.

Let's find out the actual number then...

David Lisak's research probably gives us the best estimate at around 1 in 16. Which is still quite high, but it is also very far away from numbers like "91%" or "1 in 6"

So now you're looking at a 1 in 16 chance of a randomly selected man being sexually violent.

This suddenly starts to demonstrate how the "I'd choose the bear" statement comes across as sexist.

Because choosing a bear signals a vastly hyperinflated representation of the risk of a man.

This is, indeed, sexist. You're taking the actions of a small minority of men and casting their actions over the average.

That, my friend, is textbook bigotry.

The reality is the vast vast majority of men (~94%) aren't sexually violent and perfectly normal people who would be helpful and good to have around for survival.

If you seriously don't see casting the 6%'s actions as a negative generalization on the other 94% as sexist, then I think you gotta go reflect on that for a bit.

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What you are continuing to fail at is that I get the point.

I'm saying that the point is being conveyed atop a sexist mechanism

You might find this wild, but a cry fir help can simultaneously be sexist. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

You are arguing about what is being conveyed on the mechanism.

I am arguing the mechanism being used itself is a shitty one

Things can be more than one thing at the same time, which is tough for some people to understand I guess.

If you continue to keep trying to argue that a sexist post being a "cry for help" somehow nullifies it's sexism, then you will continue to make zero progress here and, more importantly, you'll continue to keep being part of the problem

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I'm talking about electronic counting machines. Which have been repeatedly demonstrated to be far more accurate than counting by hand.

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (20 children)

I haven't met anyone yet who was pro Trump and didn't have a "fuck Trudeau" bumper sticker or flag or whatever.

But I do live in Alberta where there are just straight up genuinely people, in droves, that are pro trump antivax idiots.

The other day several people all in a group tried to convince me that electronic voting was unreliable and only hand counting votes could be relied on...

I love my province, but I feel an incredible sadness for most of the people that live here.

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

And how would you react to if a TERF posted the same thing but changed it to a trans woman instead of a man?

Still a woman posting about her fear of being raped.

But now you maybe see how fucking awful ot sounds, right? How it makes you sound super bigoted, perhaps?

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world -1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

All that typing but you wouldn't write it.

Deep down inside you know it's a sexist statement, but you'll twist yourself into a pretzel trying to justify it.

It's sexist, get over it and just admit it. It's a shitty thing to say.

Fear is fear, you can't pretend justifying sexism with fear is any better or worse than justifying racism with fear or justifying any other type of bigotry with fear.

If some TERF shithead posted "I'd feel safer alone in the woods with a bear than with a trans woman in the bathroom" or some shit you know how bad that would be.

You have to sit and look in the mirror and confront the fact that you think sexism directed towards men "doesn't count".

It does. And until the general public wraps their heads around what should be a very simple concept, shitheads like Trump are going to keep getting elected by reactionaries

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world -2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, I know what it is. Hyperbole when taken too far is just a fancy way to dress up sexism/racism.

The litmus test here is so easy.

Replace "man" with "black man" and repeat the phrase, tell me if it's still something you'd say out loud amongst friends or not.

Suddenly doesn't sound so paletteble does it? Maybe sounds kinda racist?

Literally anytime you wanna try and argue if a phrase maybe is problematic, and you wanna try and argue that because the subject is "men" makes it lt count, just change it to "black men" and double check it didn't suddenly become super fuckin racist sounding.

If it did, it always was sexist.

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago (6 children)

No.

I get the point, I have always gotten the point.

My point is it's a stupid sounding way to try and make the point, because it doesn't actually translate well.

Instead you just sound like a naive inexperienced idiot and make yourself look bad.

You either come across as so hyperbolic you just sound sexist, or, you sound like a naive idiot.

Let me demonstrate for you.

If soneone told you given the choice of being alone in the woods with a black man or a bear, they'd feel safer with a bear, how does that sound now?

Do you still think that sounds "hyperbolic", or do you maybe now see how fucked up and stupid it makes you sound?

That's how women who genuinely say that shit sound.

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world -3 points 1 week ago (3 children)

It's a stupid hyperbole that just says "I've never actually seen a bear up close"

It makes women sound stupid and naive, any woman who has actually encountered a bear up close will go "fuck no, a bear will fuck you up"

Bears will literally tear your limbs off just cuz, with little effort. You are nothing more than a ragdoll to them. They have thousands of pounds on you, and they can run twice as fast as you.

No person who actually knows wtf a bear us like would ever choose the bear.

The hyperbole instead just sends a message of "women are stupid" which shouldn't be true, I would hope the average woman is smart enough to know that while being alone with a man is risky, a fucking bear is still way way worse.

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world -1 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The scenario is you are lost in the woods and you either have to choose between a wild bear, or a random man.

Many types of bears won't run away, they will actively attack you. Some will run, but many will simply tear you limb from limb just cuz.

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago (8 children)

They are actually referencing a genuine fear many of them have being alone around men.

It still makes you sound stupid, tbh, when you admit you haven't a clue how much more threatening a fucking bear is.

A man, no matter how scary, isn't going to tear your fucking arms off with one hand lol

It demonstrates a degree of naivety that you truly have never actually seen a bear in person.

It just makes the person sound stupid.

At least pick an animal that is less of an instant threat. Like a cougar.

A bear will literally reduce you to multiple pieces without a second thought, and with barely any effort. It's a bear

 

So, my fiance and I have for quite awhile come to terms with us being poly, primarily myself but she is cool with it.

Thing is, we've been together for 13 years now, are getting married soon, and while we have agreed that if we ever met someone we clicked with, we also have come to terms with the fact it feels like that won't actually ever happen.

We're both very introverted and keep to ourselves. We aren't actually party goers, and the wildest nights we have are the extremely rare night where we host a board game night with like, maybe 4 friends. And that's a "rager" for us, comparatively.

We've looked into some dating apps but the results are... abysmal. Non starter really.

And since we are both so far along in our life together, it feels more and more like it would be impossible to "Fairly" include another person anyways. They'd forever be "second" in that me and my fiance have thirteen (and counting) years of history, whereas the new person would be starting completely fresh. That doesn't seem like it could ever work anyways, no matter how hard we tried right?

We've talked at length about this and agreed that it just doesn't seem like it could even work, despite us wanting it to, and that we're sorta just gonna have to be cool with being monogamous poly, which is weird but I dunno how else to describe it.

The only situation I've considered that would work is if it was another couple that both of us click with both of them, and everyone vibes with each other in every direction, which then means at least everyone has someone else they have history with, and someone else that is new, which feels more like now everyone is on "equal" footing if you will, removing that feeling of imbalance.

But then of course we have to confront the fact that the odds of two people finding two other people and everyone vibing with everyone else is... well incredibly low. And when I say vibing I'm talking "we want to have a close committed intimate and romantic relationship" level.

So, I guess I wanted to send out some feelers on if any other folks are in this sort of state, how are you navigating it, how do you feel about it, lets talk about this sort of state.

Something to noodle on:

Is it morally wrong to try and initiate a poly relationship with a third person, when the other 2 people have a "fallback" of each other, such that the third person forever will be subjected to the 2v1 power imbalance, that if things broke down the 2 would quick the third out, forever putting them at a disadvantage?

Cuz, personally, I feel like I can't morally subject someone to that myself, I'd forever feel "off" about putting another person (no matter how willing) into that position, it feels... wrong.

 

Im looking for some form of self hosted application, ideally dockerized(able), that can connect to and manage an existing database (Im not picky on the DB type, Postgres prolly best though).

However Id like if it manages it via a nice well designed ERD. The closest I have found so far is PgAdmin but unfortunately it's ERD leaves a lot to be desired. It's kinda clunky, and it cant "diff" against your existing database to produce a migration script, all it can do is produce a script that expects you to totally drop the existing DB and re-apply the schema from scratch.

Something like Luna/Moon would be cool, but every example I look up seems to be an application you install locally on your machine and interact with directly, as opposed to a web interface.

If you know of such a tool let me know!

 

I just downloaded the app, its loading posts just fine from lemmy.world, but where on earth do I login?

Clicking on Profile and Submit just tell me they wont work unless I am logged in. Ideally these two CTAs should instead redirect to login if you are not logged in.

I am looking all over this interface and I am either totally blind or completely unable to find the login option, is it buried somewhere or am I crazy?

Edit: Nevermind found it, top of the burger menu, I think maybe the UX of that button could be made a bit more visual, it at first glance with the icon looked like just a title.

Perhaps add a big green + symbol on it so it pops more for adding your account? The dull blue and lemmy icon aren't what I normally would associate typically with a login button, so it totally didn't pop out at me. Legit took me a solid 5+ minutes to notice it D:

 

Right now there seems to be a bit of an issue where if I want to share a link to a lemmy post with a friend, but if we call different servers our "home", even though both of our "homes" have a roughly similar copy of the same post, there currently is no easy way that I perceive for us to navigate to "our" copy of that post.

This becomes further of an issue when it comes to search engine parsing. For example I use lemmy.world as my "home" server, however when I find information on google it may link to the fedia.io or whatever "sources" link.

For reading this is no big deal.

But if I want to respond to the post, I now need to somehow figure out a way to re-route to the lemmy.world copy of that post to make my submission with my user account.

I think ideally what we need to consider is perhaps one of the following:

A: a browser plugin that can automatically detect and redirect to the matching version of the post for your server

B: OAuth support, so I can OAuth login to any lemmy server with my credentials from my "home" server via an OAuth v2 token

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