Its already a big win that you were able to get yourself out of this Situation. Focus on the good things you did to protect yourself. This is hard and its going to be hard again and again. Dont put yourself down for your thoughts. Keep an eye out for the small steps towards your goals.
There are lots nice people here. Try out different tips and find people who understand you. Sharing and community can be a really strong "skill".
Lots of love. You are stronger than you know. If you ever Fall dont tell yourself to be a failure. You can stand up from falling and start walking again. Its not a test, its your life.