Check out Firewalla Gold. I think it would meet all of your requirements.
Perrin42
Virtuosity - Denzel Washington is a former cop chasing a rogue psychotic AI played by Russel Crowe. Awesome movie.
The Firewalla is pricey but amazing. I am running the Gold at home, and it runs Linux and supports Dockers so I'm running PiHole on the router.
ZDNet has an article recommending 5 VPN routers from $79 to $250. I am not familiar with all of them, but it should get you started. I like the Firewalla product because of the other security features it provides, like blocking incoming traffic flows or device-specific service rules, and PiHole is amazing.
It's outside your budget, but you should look at Firewalla. I think their least expensive model is the Blue Plus, but it provides security capabilities like firewall and VPN as well as routing and DHCP. The Gold even supports Docker containers - I'm running PiHole in a Docker on my Gold. I'm not using VPN client capabilities, but I know they're there.
Oh goodness, I hope it's nothing minor.
I'm thinking of getting either Security+ or Network+; got my A+ several years ago without studying, but the last certs I got before that were MCP for Windows 2000 Server and Workstation (had a career change before I finished my MCSE). I don't think Network+ would be all that hard, but Security+ seems more valuable. Thoughts?
While she ought to be tossed in jail, she is likely shielded by the Speech & Debate clause.
I love In-N-Out. I could even ignore the bible verses on their packaging since it was pretty hidden. But I haven't been there since they refused to enforce the mask mandates during the pandemic - if they ignore one health regulation they don't like, who's to say they're not ignoring others? I won't go there again until there's some sign that sanity is taking over.
My cousins made me watch John Carpenter's The Thing when I was eight years old. Assholes.
The movie Saturday the 14th also messed me up for a while, what with the Creature from the Black Lagoon getting into someone's bathtub through the drain pipes. It may be silly dreck, but it was a bit much for a five year old.
Their secret "red ranch" sauce is especially good.