I think sex positive people generally appreciate when their partner is upfront and clear about their boundaries. I just don't think it's as common for subs to be the ones to start that discussion. Even your wording regarding it taking a huge burden off your dom implies that there was some pressure on the dom to ask for it. In my experience, the doms are the ones that start that discussion. My experience seems to align with other people's experience when we discuss it, but I'm definitely not saying that's always the case.
MountingSuspicion
joined 2 years ago
Why don't they go the way of England and declare him god emperor Trump?
Even so, the guy said he told everyone he was a citizen. If someone asks me if I'm here on a visa and I respond "no" and then they arrest me and I'm like "I'm a citizen" you can't then act like they were using trick questions for plausible deniability. The second I say I'm a citizen that goes out the window regardless of what I was asked. If the guy answered every question with "I'm a citizen and (answer)" I don't think the result would be any different, so allowing them to hide behind "trick questions" obscures the fact that they are lying to get POC rounded up. They are lying and they don't need "trick questions" because they don't care what your answer is. You could answer the trick question "correctly" and still be rounded up. Anything suggesting that the fault lies in anything but the institution and its officers is a distraction imho. So I feel like "trick question" is a deflection/distraction and I have not read anything to even suggest that's the case. It seems like they 1) didn't believe him and 2) lied to cover it up. I have not read anything that suggests the citizen in question answered a question that may have been suspicious but I have read that he was not believed.
Yeah, I agree with your personal experience regarding who is generally turned off by it, but I think that's why it needs to be a masc/Dom lead thing. Subs are too turned off by it conceptually and don't want to take the lead. I think the big issue is how it's incorporated into foreplay. Unfortunately, being sexy and dom about consent is not second nature to everyone, but it can definitely be done.
"Do you want me to X" or "wouldn't you like that?" can be sprinkled throughout foreplay. "Tell me when to stop" or walking someone through an RP scenario where you respect their no and then they have to enthusiastically express consent to proceed. Absolute basic outline below devoid of all sexuality and not actually phrasing I would use: "Tell me to stop" "I don't want you to" "Tell me anyway"
Option A "Ok. Stop" You stop and then have some sexy banter and tell them they need to ask you to continue. You've now demonstrated that you will respect their no even if you know it's just play and you have their enthusiastic consent to proceed. If they don't want to proceed either they didn't actually like what was happening or you can try to ask them what they want instead and now they're in charge.
OR "No I like this too much" You can proceed and potentially ask sexy follow ups to understand what specifically they like. "Oh you like how I X or do you like how I Y better?"
The issue is there's a fine line between sexy and cringe. Knowing how to read a situation will definitely help, but the concept of using consent to build suspense is not new. There's a whole genre of bodice rippers where the woman is the one that finally gives in and lets the man take her because he insists he won't touch her until she begs for it. It obviously requires more restraint from the dom, and different techniques work on different people, but generally a way can be found to put consent in the hands of a sub without letting them feel like the power dynamic has been lost. It really is an art form though and not everyone can be a great artist, but we can all try our best.
I don't think the comment is suggesting they criticize Protestantism. I think they are suggesting that US Catholics faith no longer aligns with the Vatican and that it's diverged to the point that in no longer even represents the idea of Christianity at large (Protestants) and more just some new thing (presumably where people pretend to read the Bible and just ignore all the commandments).
Yea, I'm not gonna start criticizing him because I'll just never stop, but I'll at least agree with your point.
For what it's worth, what the pope actually says/does has started mattering very little anyways. They no longer even pretend to care.
Yes, those are exactly the things that should be happening.
I think the aversion to it is often that it's not incorporated into the foreplay itself. For more serious things it should be completely separate so that there's no question what is part of the the play and not, but imho for casual sex there's less of a need to have a sit down discussion about it. I'm a woman though, so I get that it's easier for me to say than for a man to say. It sucks because a lot of that onus is put on the person coded as masc/dom in more casual settings, but that's just the reality of it. I think if more masc/dom coded people incorporated it into their casual sex it'd be less taboo much faster. I don't think femme/sub coded people are going to be able to push it and still feel like they're inhabiting the space they want to, so I don’t know if we'll see a lot of cultural movement unless heterosexual men start to champion this idea of incorporating consent into foreplay.
I'm sure you have sex real good etc etc, but honestly, a lot of heterosexual men do not have sex real good. Your conception of "loving sex" is fine and all, but often penetration alone is not pleasurable enough for women, especially if their partner is inexperienced or if neither party is familiar enough with the woman's anatomy to find an angle that's more stimulating. I'm not saying rough sex is the answer, but a lot of women think "boring sex" is bad because their partner is doing the technical aspects of what you're saying "long, slow strokes" but neither party is able to make that as pleasurable for the woman involved. Male anatomy (in general) can enjoy a wider variety of stimulation than female anatomy and slowing things down can be really great for both parties, but in my experience requires more work for the female party to enjoy it to the same extent. Again, just my experience, but long and slow can easily turn into a version of starfishing with an inexperienced partner.
I'm very sex positive and my partners have been too, so I don't really have this issue, but I think porn has really affected both heterosexual men and women's perception of sex. You hear it from the female perspective a lot where men just start hitting or choking them during sex, but there's a cultural undercurrent of the opposite experience where women will try and take a guys hand to her throat and apply pressure because for some reason asking to be choked is weird but that isn't. Both men and women are seeing rough sex portrayed in porn and assuming that's the sex everyone wants/is having. In reality, it's dangerous to do breathplay with an inexperienced partner and that's not something you just spring on them. I think sex is still a taboo subject and people need to get more comfortable speaking about it. I think the idea of enthusiastic consent and how it incorporates into foreplay is often the deciding factor in how an encounter goes, but often neither party knows how to engage in it.
Did not have a Henry VIII style split with the church on my bingo card, but let's just get it over with. Can't wait for US Catholics to get the option to openly follow their one true religion: Cheap, poorly managed, failing attempts at white American hegemony and hate.
- based on the articles about this, that's probably not what happened and they just flat out lied, just like they did in the other recent case of detained US citizen
- even if they DID ask that and he for whatever reason answered "no" and refused to elaborate and never bothered to mention that he was a US citizen (hint: not what happened - he said he was a citizen every step of the way), that is still not "admitting to being here illegally" and portraying it as such is a deliberate misrepresentation
Fascist don't need your help, especially if you just have conjecture on your side.
It's not like he shut down someone else's work. He stopped working on his own pet project. There's nothing stopping you from picking it up and working on it. It's publicly available. Insulting him seems juvenile and entitled. It's not his job to supply people with this (literally, he's not being paid for it). Even if you think he took a payout to stop working on it, or he was bullied into stopping (no support for either of these positions) it's ok for an 18 year old to be concerned about threats from a company and it's ok for them to take a payout for something they worked on. Again, no evidence for either, but neither of those scenarios would make it appropriate to insult him.
Here, feel free to fork it: https://github.com/Whisky-App/Whisky