This has improved further in recent years, so you probably weren't seeing how it is now.
It may be different in other regions, but I see significantly less toxicity in Dota 2 compared to Counter-Strike, the only other big competitive game I have enough time in to compare it to. Though my CS experience was longer ago, and they could have improved things there, too.
I am not a fan of horror games all that much, and Half-Life Alyx is not one, but the horror elements are stronger than previous titles and I still haven't finished the game because of that. The game is incredible, but I just can't get past the scary parts.