FatalValentine

joined 1 year ago

Would it make you feel better if I told you I hasted my friend who I was playing with 3 times in a row because I kept forgetting I cast haste, which would make him skip his turn every time? I am not a smart lady.

Cherry on top: the last time I cast it, and he was already thoroughly annoyed, I got hit and dropped concentration ^.^

[–] FatalValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 92 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

I hope I'm not intruding on men's spaces here as a transwoman,

But after my transition that was one of the biggest, most drastic contrasts between the two binary gender's social dynamics. Men just don't get to talk about their feelings- whether it stems from homophobia or misogyny, men are generally seen as an island to themselves and if you display otherwise, it is seen as a weakness worthy of admonition and disrespect. There is still a societal expectation that men are supposed to be stoic, stable providers while women are increasingly allowed liberation. Hard fought, and rightly so but what's the point of "equality" if we don't lift everyone up to the same standards?

I have never felt more emotional support in my entire life than when I stepped into women's spaces, seen as a woman. This just isn't fair or right, regardless of the other privelages men may have. Justice is for everyone, not just minorities.

Yet, it is up to men to decide this. Yes, women can and should support you, but remember who has the most power to change these standards. Women didn't have to demand other women for suffrage, they had to demand it from men. It is the same here for emotional liberation.

*An edit for an addendum: I hope nobody reads this feeling that I'm blaming men, or being accusational. I want to clarify that I believe men do have the power to change this culture of emotional isolationism but it will require self-reflection, effort and a strong demand from oneself and other men to be willing to seek liberation- at the risk of what comes with shaking up the status quo.

Please don't make me take it off, I'll die. 😉

Seriously, blocking is hard. Idk how ya'll do it.

[–] FatalValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago (7 children)

I joined a women's roller derby league and it's the most fun I've had in a sport, ever! My teammates are super inclusive, kind, and treat me just like any other gal on the team. I love them all so much and I never would have met them had I stayed closeted. It also really works out my hips and lower body, while keeping a slim waste and avoiding anything shoulders which has really started to give me euphoria about my body lately.

My boobs are starting to fill in finally too, my partner noticed I had underboob the other day and I couldn't stop staring at myself in the mirror while giggling!

A bunch of my partners friends donated some clothes to me too, which really helped fill out my closet. Most of them fit me really well, and accentuate my body shape in a way I didn't know I could feel good about.

All in all, I'm 6 months in and couldn't be happier with my choice to transition, but it helps massively that I: A. Live in a blue state and B. have an incredible partner and support group who want nothing but to see me thrive as a woman.

Thanks for asking!

[–] FatalValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did I hear a rock n stone?

"Not all straight..." "Not all men..." "Not all cis..."

When does this become an issue with generalization and stop being an issue of covering up/defending shitty, toxic behavior within a community?

The more marginalized your intersectional community, the more discrimination you face from that community.

For example, jf you think it's tough being a woman in the united states, try being a black woman. And if you think that's hard, try being a black trans woman.

At some point, you just lose community entirely, as that becomes a privilege for those less marginalized.