this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
146 points (96.2% liked)

Not The Onion

12326 readers
1524 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 70 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is just the plot of the Black Mirror episode Hang the DJ.

[–] Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz 55 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's interesting how many of the psychopath suits seem to watch cautionary tales turning into hellscapes and think "yeah, that's a great idea, let's make that".

[–] DragonTypeWyvern 16 points 6 months ago

Can't wait for the Torment Nexus 35.

[–] restingboredface@sh.itjust.works 45 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If people want to make computer characters date they should just save themselves the trouble and get the Sims.

[–] WamGams@lemmy.ca 6 points 6 months ago

People leave build mode?

[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 24 points 6 months ago (2 children)

It's an interesting idea. A simulated version of me dates simulated versions of everyone else, and then tells me which ones were any good... It would save the hassle, for sure. Could reintroduce some honesty into hookups, too, less dancing around trying to figure out if that's what you're both after.

I'm not at all convinced that any company can convincingly simulate my personality though.. and there are too many layers of abstraction here, do I really trust that the AI simulated opinions of the AI simulated version of the person thst only had a simulated conversation with simulated me is really going to reflect the real situation? I doubt it.

[–] SparrowRanjitScaur@lemmy.world 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There was a black mirror episode about this.

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 13 points 6 months ago

I'm going to get that tattooed backwards across my forehead.

[–] Iceblade02@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Until you realize that somebody can make up a fake version of themselves, or pay for "extra benefits" or whatever. I too like the idea, but I'm afraid it's already been ruined.

[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

Man, sounds like regular dating all over again

[–] Pacmanlives@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 5 points 6 months ago

With a hammer.

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think we will actually reach a point where most sexual encounters will be via virtual reality. You taylor the interaction just as you want it and get the same physical reaction as if it was real.

[–] coffeebiscuit@lemmy.world 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] djsoren19@yiffit.net 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Look idc if no contact happens, what happened in Demolition Man seemed hot as hell.

[–] BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one 4 points 6 months ago

You're not supposed to fuck the 3-seashells?

[–] sucricdrawkcab@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ

[–] platypus_plumba@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. You win... THIS TIME. But I'm keeping my eye on you.

[–] theluddite@lemmy.ml 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm feeling better and better about my "pornetariat" theory.

[–] NovaPrime@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Loved the article. Great blog overall. Glad you shared

[–] theluddite@lemmy.ml 2 points 6 months ago

Glad you enjoyed!

[–] MadBob@feddit.nl 10 points 6 months ago

Bit like that Žižek interview where he says his perfect date involves putting a dildo into a plastic vagina and throwing them in the other room while the two people can sit and have a nice cup of tea together.

[–] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

Of course, you can pay money for your AI to “succeed” vs the other AI. Highest bidder gets the choice. You just need to advertise services to men and women as separate companies.

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Then you should go sign up for OkCupid.

Well that aged like milk.

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

It was before they got bought out. And it did age like milk.

[–] applepie@kbin.social 3 points 6 months ago

Why would would peasants be spending time together and fucking IRL, when them bitches could be making daddy some mother fucking money?

[–] Hazmatastic@lemm.ee 2 points 6 months ago

My AI and your AI

Sitting by the fire

My AI said to your AI

I'm going to set the world on fire

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Isn't there literally a movie about this, that she's stolen the plot of?