196

Building without a permit

I may have harvested my beets a little late.

Eradicating an entire species of bugs

Attempting to win at poker with a collection of rocks, glass and, cards I have doodled on.

Dispensing Freedom.

Having six throwing stars and a shitload of buffs... as a potato

Democracy (it was helldivers)

Having eleven kings in one poker hand.

Public inebriation, disturbing the peace

(Rock and Stone ⛏️⛏️⛏️⛏️⛏️)

Abandoning my post in defense of Super Earth. I am sorry, Democracy.

Loving Managed Democracy too hard

Unlicensed space travel

Climbing a mountain but dying too much along the way. Like a little too much.

I didn't get arrested, because I suffer from a knee injury and my adventures have ended

Stealing villager's beds.

Capturing and enslaving weird magic animals

Falcon punching Pikachu.

Rotting in a Shinra prison for bombing a Mako reactor. In my defense, the new explosion graphics were great.

Unauthorized orbital rocket launches.

Possession of psychite with intention to distribute

and like, at least 3 or 4 warcrimes, but whose counting

Tax Fraud.

Supporting democracy!

I guess I'll be getting arrested for helping people build a village.

Using obscene amounts of violence to protect freedom and democracy across the galaxy.

Throwing a stick of dynamite into the middle of a kkk meeting outside of Rhodes. Sorry, not sorry.

Failing to properly evacuate the city during a Tsunami because its easier just to clean up afterwards (Cities Skylines).

Elden Ring... soo.. lots of murder

Driving a giant tractor with a trailer full of soybeans the wrong way around a roundabout to deliver the soybeans to the grocery store.

Murdering tens of thousands of natives in North America to build plantations to make money to build factories in England.

I think this is the kind of violence history books often frame as the "unfortunate side of progress", so I guess it's okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PC: Politely asking for and engaging in street fights with random strangers.

Mobile: Baking cookies

Web: Making paperclips

Genocide

Disregarding all Osha violations, colonizing a planet and killing all natural life.

damm I love factorio

Forcing a dragon to fuck a bear?

Gambling fraud. I keep playing 5 of a kind Flush in Balanto and it keeps working!

Been playing Dorfromantik so building quaint, idyllic villages with expansive forests and streams.

Forcing thousands of grandmother's into endless work. Destroying ecosystems. Ravaging planets. Ending light itself. Enslaving Gods. And eliminating every parallel world in existence. All to make cookies. More and more. On and on and on. Universes of cookies more numerous than atoms in the cosmos.

But I'm almost done.

Assisting a vampire in plotting and then carrying out the murder of her father.

Mass murdering animals.

Doing 95mp/h in a semi down the shoulder of a highway in Colorado.

Space mining.

Going a-víking and dismembering "a few" Englishmen...

Being an ex yakuza