I feel like this is a huge problem with Lemmy. All that talk about federation and decentralization and every guide out there for getting started is just like "just register with lemmy.world and don't worry about it". THE WHOLE FREAKING POINT is to avoid one single instance having an outsized influence on the network as a whole.
But choosing an instance to sign up with is such a huge hassle and also kind of a crapshoot. Even if you pick one that seems like a good place to be, it's highly likely the admins will either burn out quickly or just not do their job, and suddenly you're defederated because your instance is full of CSAM. Or they're actually just pieces of shit to begin with.
Fortunately, it seems like I found a decent instance for now. Lemmy.zip has more than one admin, so the burden isn't all on one person, and the main person running it seems to be just a real chill dude. I really hope it lasts.