For all of us with ADHD, autism spectrum, or just plain Foot-In-Mouth-ism: been there, done that, second-guessing making this post even as I write it. Enjoy this comic: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/cues
this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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Mental Health
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That was a good one. I married my husband even though he was blatantly honest like that when he got nervous or stressed out at first. Once I realized he probably has some undiagnosed ADHD and talked with him about it he at least became more aware that not everyone blurts out their thoughts like that. Now we joke that he is just an out-loud thinker and make space for it in the relationship. He only has to work on masking it at work if he wants to become friends with people there, and not have people angry that he said something critical of them all the time, not with me. I can ignore offhand remarks that are just him thinking out loud for the most part, or ask him if he really meant to say that or was just processing an emotion and maybe we should revisit this later.
I have basically the opposite issue. I have social anxiety and constantly overthink every interaction Even on the internet I agonize before hitting the post button about whether people really want me to say that. I retreat inside my head to process my big emotions before I present them to anyone, and I can't imagine what it would be like to just blurt them out all the time with no filter. Not that I am completely immune to that, but when I do I am horribly embarrassed by it. It seems like my own personal version of Hell to not really have the safety of processing things inside my head before I blurt them out. I think that's why I can have sympathy for him when he says something that seems mean or critical. It's not like I never have critical thoughts of my husband, I just have the safety of only letting them out when I feel it's important to do so.
Been somewhat better since quitting Reddit. But shit, I've been busy. Wife and baby have been sick all week, while I've been strangely fine, trying to support them and wearing myself out in the process.
Monday I'll be working remote while watching baby, while the wife tries.to return to work..wish me luck
It's tough when you have little ones in the house and everyone tends to get sick in batches. Make sure you are getting as much rest as possible and disinfecting the house as much as possible so you won't all pass the same illness around over and over.
Been looking for work week after week. I have a few small client projects, but nothing sustainable.
Been at it for a few years, which is atrocious, and I know the only person I can blame is myself. Industry is tech. I'm willing to try something different, but I know it's rare for an employer to say, "hey, I know you've never done this before, but I'm willing to take a gamble on you."
I think I'll check out a temp agency this week. Being neurodivergent I need to be careful about the job I pick (suffering from a sobbing panic attack behind mayonnaise vats at a food processing plant w/ a prev temp agency taught me that), but if I explain that I'm a hard worker just a bit different I might be able to get something that's at least a 3/10 on a mental health scale.
I'm a long way away from being able to date again. For 1, who wants to date someone without work? For another, it's taking time away from finding my next opportunity. And sometimes all I want to do is cuddle with someone or take a quiet walk in the sunshine...but right now the world feels cold.
So I'll just have to tread water until I conquer this hell.
Unless anyone at their company is hiring for a software position?
I'm sorry you're finding job hunting so difficult. I tried for about six months to market my services as sort of a consultant/assistant and though I knew I was more than capable of doing the work, finding someone to actually hire me was very difficult. I ended up taking a job with an agency that did the same work in order to bridge the gap a bit, and after I was done with that job I returned to traditional work because I decided that the "marketing yourself" part of freelance work was not for me. It's difficult to even find a job because there are so many applicants for every position. For a traditional in-person job it's not so complicated.
When I decided to go back to work I used a temp agency. I think it's a good idea for you, as long as the person who is working with you understands your limitations. Here's hoping they have something available that is flexible and has fun and understanding people at the worksite. It sounds like you could use a win, and a confidence boost.