this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2024
1007 points (98.9% liked)

Programmer Humor

19594 readers
803 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 45 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 82 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Is this an event for the next version of the Apple Vision Pro?

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 38 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Apple Taste Pro is a white sausage-shaped devices that you shove down your throught and controls your taste buds, olfactory system and controls breathing.

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 33 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] Klear@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Interesting...

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 9 months ago (2 children)

This would actually probably maybe work

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Personally I wish someone would make headphones that comes with a wireless "subwoofer" that attaches somewhere to your body and vibrates to the bass. The closest I found to this was the Skullcandy Crusher series. But the motors are in the headphones, which makes them bulky. Still, hardest hitting bass I've ever heard in a pair of headphones. It is unfortunate that a more prestigious brand won't take the concept and evolve it.

[–] quantenzitrone@feddit.de 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

hey, i have one of those skullcandy headphones

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Don't get me wrong, they're amazing for bass-heavy music; they're just not so great if you care about things like imaging, sound staging, a neutral frequency response, and low latency Bluetooth, none of which the crushers are particularly good at. The Crusher Evo has such bad staging, for example, that they almost sound mono. Makes them completely worthless for movies and games (which is a shame, cause movies and games could always benefit from more bass).

[–] quantenzitrone@feddit.de 1 points 9 months ago

yeah the sound quality is not so great

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 3 points 9 months ago

Even better I reckon would be to use bone conduction technology like those sports headphones, but attach it up to your sternum.

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

And it will have whopping 5 apps at launch and 5 more during its lifetime (maybe). You also most likely need a mortgage to buy one.

[–] gaterush@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I don't want to think of what the FaceTime integration would be like...

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

In 2010 we brought you FaceTime. Today, we are proud to announce FleshTime, the new best way to communicate with your loved ones.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We already have synchronized sex toys

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 9 months ago

Apple always announces products like they are the only ones, except maybe with the first iphone. "this is the best iPhone yet" not the "best smartphone in the market".

Also they wouldn't call it sex toys, they would call it a whole new revolutionary class of communication devices.

[–] Brickhead92@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

iBreath™ control now available for the low price of $19.99 a month!

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago

It will project a super low-rez image of your tongue for others to see

[–] JRaccoon@discuss.tchncs.de 62 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

I remember reading an article about how we're already able to simulate basic tastes, like sweetness and sourness, digitally. So just you wait, we might have lickable HTML elements in the future

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 53 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I can imagine the malware now

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 28 points 9 months ago

If you want the taste of poop out of your mouth, send bitcoin to this address.

[–] Cwilliams@beehaw.org 1 points 9 months ago

Imagine a poop flavored button

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago

Scratch-n-sniff CSS

[–] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

The Snozzberries taste like Snozzberries!

[–] sum_yung_gai@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] JRaccoon@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't remember the exact article I was reading but doing a quick google search yields this one for example. And here's the actual research paper: https://www.miyashita.com/researches/1hFnR7TlUO4OXNpQFeuN30

[–] sum_yung_gai@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

Thank you! This is super interesting!

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 38 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I tried to tell the computer to bugger a dataset the other day because apparently I can't type Table.Buffer()

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Environemnt is a very common word for me to type. Good thing everybody always shortens it to env.

[–] StorageAware@lemmings.world 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Used to do the same thing, but I eventually learned to memorize it as "environ-ment"

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Just because I can't type it correctly doesn't mean I don't know how to spell it. My fingers just choose to spell it alternatively because its funny. Especially the 4th time I spell it wrong the same way in the row.

[–] SatyrSack@lemmy.one 4 points 9 months ago

The amount of times I used to quickly type dnf udpate was ridiculous. Now, I know I can just dnf up.

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

I always iterate in paris.

[–] wieson@feddit.de 5 points 9 months ago

Table.Buffet

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 38 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Button that works on lick, there's a sex joke there but I'm too tired to think of it

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 47 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You mean to say, you're having trouble finding it?

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 6 points 9 months ago

I might but having had a go at it...yeah I'm starting to think that all that joking about how hard finding "the button" is some grand conspiracy of weaponized incompetence, I've had a couple partners now to confirm that finding "the button" is damn easy for someone who actually gives a shit about being a reciprocal partner.

You know you're doing it right when her thighs are wrapped around your head like she's trying to use your melon for a Gallagher bit. Hands clutched in your hair is even better, and if she's giving you a tempo you've got her so deep in the mood that all that's left is to follow the rhythm her body's setting for you.

It's so easy that her body will literally be telling you how to do it even better by the end if you put in the starting effort.

[–] silas@programming.dev 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Spatial computing has gone too far

[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Apple vision pro 2 be like

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 12 points 9 months ago

My company doesn't appreciate my taste in programming flavors. I hoped to whet their appetite with a lunch and learn but when I tried to demo the functionality on my bosses computer I ended up being escorted from the building.