Academia

Reminds me of Tom Lehrer's Lobochevsky, with the lyrics:

Who made me the genius I am today

The mathematician that others all quote

Who's the professor that made me that way?

The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat

One man deserves the credit

One man deserves the blame

And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name

Ha!

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach—

I am never forget the day

I first meet the great Lobachevsky

In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:

Plagiarize

Plagiarize

Let no one else's work evade your eyes

Remember why the good Lord made your eyes

So don't shade your eyes

But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize

Only be sure always to call it please 'research'

And ever since I meet this man

My life is not the same

And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name

Ha!

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach—

I am never forget the day

I am given first original paper to write

It was on analytic and algebraic topology of locally Euclidean parameterization of infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifold, Bozhe moi!

This I know from nothing

What I'm going to do

I think of great Lobachevsky and get idea - ha-ha-a!

I have a friend in Minsk

Who has a friend in Pinsk

Whose friend in Omsk

Has friend in Tomsk

With friend in Akmolinsk

His friend in Alexandrovsk

Has friend in Petropavlovsk

Whose friend somehow is solving now

The problem in Dnepropetrovsk

And when his work is done

Ha-ha! - begins the fun

From Dnepropetrovsk to Petropavlovsk

By way of Iliysk and Novorossiysk

To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk

To Tomsk to Omsk to Pinsk to Minsk

To me the news will run

Yes, to me the news will run!

And then I write

By morning, night

And afternoon

And pretty soon

My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed

When he finds out I publish first!

And who made me a big success

And brought me wealth and fame?

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name

Ha! Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach—

I am never forget the day

My first book is published

Every chapter I stole from somewhere else

Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory

This book was sensational!

Pravda - well, Pravda - Pravda said: (Russian double-talk)

It stinks

But Izvestia! Izvestia said: (Russian double-talk)

It stinks

Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva buys movie rights for six million rubles

Changing title to The Eternal Triangle

With Brigitte Bardot playing part of hypotenuse

And who deserves the credit?

And who deserves the blame?

Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name

Ha!