this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2024
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Unpopular Opinion

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[–] OmenAtom@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not impossible, I did it for example. Hard tho.

[–] King@lemy.lol 0 points 10 months ago (2 children)

How exactly did you do it?

[–] AHorseWithNoNeigh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 10 months ago

Find common interests. I found a chat server that reflected a social interest for myself and joined. Met a group of people that were fantastic and met them through that. Results may vary though as this was in 2020.

My advice is don't look to date but to find a connection through other means and / or interests. IMO, people who focus on "dating" often don't express themselves which is what most people use to ask: "Is this person a friend or foe?".

[–] OmenAtom@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I posted online about my interests and made it explicitly clear I was looking for someone long term that enjoyed those hobbies.

[–] King@lemy.lol -2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I mean you posted where and when?

[–] OmenAtom@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

We met on Yik yak like 8 years ago, the site got taken down cuz people used it for crimes sadly. Ive had some luck with dating sites, but again you have to want more than just sex from them otherwise they probably wont want to be around you.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yik Yak has since been rebooted.

[–] OmenAtom@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I tried it once after the reboot and it wasn’t as active, but maybe it’s picked up since.

[–] TheFeatureCreature@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Not impossible; most just are looking in the wrong places.

Finding people online works exactly the same as it does offline - you meet people in places of mutual interest or activity. Just like how IRL you would meet people in a local coffee shop or community space, you do the same online too. One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking the answer to this problem is a dating app which are literally designed to keep you hooked while making sure you don't get what you're looking for.

[–] mysoulishome@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

If you have a really good AOL instant messenger profile they flock to you

[–] theKalash@feddit.ch 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Certainly improbable, but it does sometimes happen. I know two guys that got married to someone they met playing World of Warcraft.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I had multiple relationships from online dating, probably almost half of the women I dated I met online. I met my wife online.

The fact that you refer to men as men and women and girls probably says something about you though.

Edit: and no, I’m not attractive

[–] King@lemy.lol 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I am not a native english speaker.

I don't know why people assume here that everyone here is American.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world -1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I’m not a native Spanish speaker, but I wouldn’t use hombre and chica or niña

[–] King@lemy.lol -4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Then your Spanish is very good and I need to practice more English.

What are you trying to prove here.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

My Spanish is pretty bad, I think you’re missing the point

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

improbable for many, sure.
'girls' and 'men' and 'to have a relationship' are all polynomials.

[–] KISSmyOS@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

I thought I had found one, but then she fucked her ex 15 minutes after she had told me how much she liked me on the phone, and afterwards wanted to cry on my shoulder about how messed up the situation is.

[–] Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 10 months ago

really? I've managed it a few times and it honestly wasn't all that hard. I moved one of them in with me for a bit due to an extreme life situation they were going through.

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

depends if you follow rules 1 and 2

[–] King@lemy.lol -1 points 10 months ago
[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

If women can get dates with men online, then men are getting dates online.

But it doesn't really matter what other people's experience is, or what is possible. If you aren't having a good experience, go out in the world, meet people, make friends, you meet people who know other people, you'll find someone compatible but also make friends not just one romantic partner.

[–] Lmaydev@programming.dev 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] King@lemy.lol -3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What is that supposed to mean?

[–] brandon@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Phrasing matters. Men are adults girls are children. That may not be your intention but try to be mindful in how you interact with others and you may have more success with relationships.

[–] King@lemy.lol 4 points 10 months ago

Thanks for the heads up, fixed it.

[–] NoIWontPickaName@kbin.social -1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And yet no one has a problem with “What’s up boys?” or “Going to hang out with the girls.”

Maybe you guys should just stop looking for things to get offended by.

[–] brandon@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

You’re free to refer to your friends however you like, that’s the business of you and your friends.

Referring to “men” and subsequently “girls” in a general sense is very much a patriarchal view, implies women are inferior, and generally not respectful. I’m sure that’s not what was intended but it’s those sort of things that can rub people the wrong way, especially as a first impression.

[–] carbrewr84@kbin.social 1 points 10 months ago

I met my late wife on Match.com in 2011 and we had a wonderful marriage. After she had passed away, I took some time to myself, but when I started dating again, I tried a variety of sites.

Hinge, bumble, tinder, and match all got me dates, but I eventually met my now girlfriend on match. We've been together over a year now and marriage is in the future at some point, we're just not in a rush.

It's worked for me twice now, so I think saying it's impossible isn't necessarily true. A lot depends on your location, interests, etc, but if you keep at it, you're likely to find someone eventually.

Perhaps post your online profiles, or portions of it, to some dating advice magazines and get some feedback. Without more information, we can't know why it's not working out for you in particular, but regardless best of luck out there!

[–] iAmTheTot@kbin.social 1 points 10 months ago

I met my wife online.

[–] charolastra@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago

The only 'boys' who find it "impossible" to get girls are incels and other generic pervs; this is on account of how psychologically warped they are. They've done it to themselves. It's got virtually nothing to do with looks. Who wants to be with a person that thinks like that? Common fucking sense.