To me time seems to be just an illusion that we exist inside of due to the nature of how our ego functions. Have you ever considered time to be more like a statue? That's how I feel. Every moment exists infinitely, like it's hanging right there in space time, and so it isn't the same as death, but more like a distance we can't cross.
this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
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I don't think strangers on the internet will provide you with answers. You will need to put in the work yourself to get an answer.
Questions for you: Are you your environment? Are you your hands? Are you your thoughts? Are you your emotions? Are you your subconscious? Are you your memories?
Are you the experience that you experience? Or are you the part that experiences?
Can you see that part? Does that part changes over time?
I would recommend reading philosophy books and ponder about this stuff.
You can go to past, but nobody is there anymore
I highly recommend the book Introduction to Internal Family Systems by Richard Schwartz. It’s helped me a lot, and boils down to the idea that we have “parts,” and that our thoughts and feelings can sometimes be diametrically opposite.
It, along with being able to speak with zero inhibitions to my therapist that makes me feel heard and my thoughts not seem batshit insane, has really brought up a lot of old memories and scared parts of myself. What I thought was anxiety, I’m learning to notice as a fear I’ve had for as long as I can remember, and that fear helped me survive a lot of my early years of trauma.
I can guarantee that this book will give you a sense of the answer you’re asking for.
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