this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023
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[–] Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone 72 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. He can't feel the next- [CRACK]

[–] MoonMoon@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago
[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 34 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Isn't Santa omniscient? He should already know where the presents are, so he must be a sadist.

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 48 points 9 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

Santa isn't omniscient. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. We can infer from this phrasing that he can't see you when you're awake. He also knows if you've been bad or good but that information isn't as specific.

[–] swab148@startrek.website 17 points 9 months ago (4 children)

What if I upload my consciousness to the internet, then ran that through a VPN and Tor and iP2P and all that, think I could shake him?

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

You need to be behind 7 proxies to evade him

[–] swab148@startrek.website 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Fake: basically VPNs with more steps

Gay: behind

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Oh shit, you figured me out

[–] swab148@startrek.website 2 points 8 months ago

I'm good with secrets.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You can't even shake Facebook or Google that way. How do you expect it to work against a demi-god?

[–] swab148@startrek.website 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think we're discussing the limitations of a fictional being. In the context of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", I'm not sure his powers apply to the internet, being that "He sees you when you're sleeping...", but he only "... knows when you're awake." So if my incorporeal consciousness was uploaded to the internet, do you think I could spoof my online status to green, so that I'd be untraceable to Santa?

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Possibly. I have seen many drawings depicting Santa being threatened by technology.

[–] swab148@startrek.website 3 points 8 months ago

If we're building a thing, I don't think Krampus would be as limited, but his punishment wouldn't be as dire.

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Only if, the moment you get uploaded, you say 'I'm in.'

[–] swab148@startrek.website 1 points 8 months ago

My online consciousness will 100% be wearing 1337 h4x0r sunglasses

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Idk I bet he's got contacts all throughout the NSA. He's got a hell of a blackmailing racket going.

[–] swab148@startrek.website 2 points 9 months ago

Or maybe part of his elf crew includes an elite hacking division, and he's essentially in every government network.

[–] psud@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I reckon he knows if you've been bad or good because of the parents' assessment of their children's goodness. That is not a specific Santa power, except in as much as the power of Santa to get that parental assessment is a power

I think it has to be based on the parents, as clearly bad kids still get presents, and only their mother thinks they're good.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Our subconsciousness dreams Santa into existence.

[–] c24w@lemmy.world 29 points 9 months ago

He lacks omnipresents!

[–] menemen@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Santa only watches children though I think.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 28 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

Be the Grinch. Get ostracized by looking different. Slowly get shunned from your community and froze out. Be ignored. Everyone hates you for no reason.

They rub it in your face by being as loud and noisy as possible. You tried to get away but they still flaunt it in your face. Only your best doggo understands and loves you still.

You go down and try to stop it and take their shit. Next day, they're still singing their fucking songs. You give them their shit back and NOW they like you.

Lesson: Nobody will like you until it looks like you did something good. Even if it was just a problem you made and you fixed but nothing actually changes.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 5 points 8 months ago

Even if it was just a problem you made and you fixed but nothing actually changes.

Isn't this half of what some IT people do?

[–] meyotch@slrpnk.net 2 points 8 months ago

The True Meaning of Christmas™️

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 19 points 9 months ago

Blocks the door with a chair

[–] BreadstickNinja@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] tuck182@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Maybe that's one of the elves?

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

Gordon: "Which one are you going after?"

Santa: "MRS. CLAUS!"

Gordon, to his officers: "We're going after Rudolph!"

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

Driving around this year looking at lights, the grinch is way over represented.

[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

"You'll never get it out of me, you jolly basterd."

[–] vinter@mander.xyz 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Why are there so many "webcomics" that look exactly like this? AI generated?

Safely Endangered is a pretty popular webcomic, so I highly doubt it's AI, but I guess a lot of the styles we see are becoming sort of similar.