No Stupid Questions

My sister has it too, her misophonia makes her dramatically more sensitive to any higher pitched sounds. And her borderline personality disorder combines to translate that annoyance directly into anger. She can still hang out with kids if they are being calm and quiet. But it's risky. The kids know that when she gets mad it wasn't their fault. They seem to handle it well, but we'll only really know in time. They currently still enjoy hanging out with her, so that's a positive sign.

If you have the same thing, as far as I know there is no way to stop it. But cbt(cognitive behavioral therapy) and things like that can help you be more present and mindful while experiencing those effects. Generally enough to prevent unwanted explosions and extricate yourself to a more comfortable environment to calm down over time.

I am exactly the same as you. I've stopped caring, neither me nor my friends have kids thankfully. But yeah the sound of kids crying or screaming or throwing a tantrum instantly hits a nerve in my head

Have you ever spent any one-on-one time having fun with a kid?

No judgement, just curious: I know it's more rare, but do you get the same visceral reaction to grown people throwing immature temper tantrums as well? Or is it limited to just the very young?

I just want to understand if this is more of a distaste for immaturity or if it's only the immaturity of the immature that's giving you that feeling.

I'm no fan of kids, but I don't get this kind of rage myself. I can dismiss myself from the situation long before I struggle with these kinds of feelings.

I'm curious, how do you feel about being around drunk people while you are sober? Is the problem the children themselves, or is being around someone who is loud, obnoxious, and self centered (which I think describes both children and drunk people).

I'm general, my main advice would be to look into yourself to see what specifically is bothering you and why. That's basically what I assume a therapist would do. Maybe it's something like your own need for attention causes feelings of resentment when someone else is demanding attention. Maybe it's just the loud noises kids make. If it's the kids themselves and not their noise and self-centered attitude, maybe the root is something related to kids resurfacing your own childhood memories/trauma. Once you identify the root of the problem, maybe you can start working toward letting whatever it is go, or at least recognizing in the moment that your not angry at the kid, your angry at whatever issue in yourself you've identified. Understanding what is going on in your own head might at least keep you from screaming at the kid.

I don't know anything though, just a stranger spouting off, so please take this with a giant grain of salt. A professional therapist would obviously be better, but I understand from your other responses that might not be practical for you.

IMO They're just small humans and like their larger counterparts some are worth my time and some aren’t. You sound ageist. My partner hates kids, much like you, but has slowly become fond of a select few we know. I’ve never really minded kids - but I’ve always been able to hand them back as I don’t have any of my own.

I struggle with a lot of sounds, having a sensory processing disorder, the list of which is far too long to write out here. So I totally understand the frustration and how rage inducing it is, you are definitely not alone. Especially when people don't understand it's not a patience issue, it's a 'my brain isn't wired the same way as yours and it genuinely cannot be fixed' issue.

Other people have mentioned therapy, which is definitely a good idea. They can help you find ways to channel the energy into something else, or help you find the root cause (if it's a children-specific thing, and not just a general sensory issue), or teach you good cognitive behavioral therapy practices.

In the interim, since finding a good therapist for you can take a lot of time, I would definitely recommend some form of earplugs. Mine have saved me and my sanity so so so many times. If I can recommend a particular pair, I would suggest the Loop Switch, since they let you adjust the sound reduction levels on the fly - but any brand / even the foam tip ones (as long as they fit you properly!) can help immeasurably. For me, just knowing I have earplugs with me helps dealing with these sounds, even if I don't wind up using them, just knowing the option is there. Some form of stress ball or those grip / forearm strengtheners might also be of use for you? It can be a good distraction, as well as allowing yourself to let off some of the steam in a relatively healthy and inconspicuous manner.

And kudos for knowing this is a problem for you, and looking for help on how to improve it. I hope you're able to make progress you want, one way or another. Good luck, OP - we're rooting for you

I was a little like that until I had a kid myself. Much less than you perhaps, but I didn't have fun with kids, I never knew what to do, what to tell them, and I would be very unforgiving with kids who are cheating or lying for fun.

I always thought that when you have one, yours is different.

When i meet my soulmate, I knew she would be an awesome mother and it helped me retain some faith. We ended up having a boy who is now 4 and a half.

I must admit, I didn't know I had this much patience in me. Still not knowing what the hell I'm doing but I lowered the bar as much as I could : he's happy, and he's fed.

Now it's not always easy, and he tests my limits daily by pushing all the proper buttons. Sometimes I ask my girlfriend for an.... Emergency relief.

But now I kinda understand how to enter children's world. Doesn't work with all of them, and sometimes I must adapt. I still have a hard time tolerating crying over nothing serious, but I found ways to go around that and give hugs.

I try to remind myself of old memories when I did some very similar things with I was a kid, sometimes I'm not very proud...

All in all, I'm not telling to have kids, but just to say it can change. I just happened to have taken the "hard way", and I didn't regret any of it.

By undergoing behavioral therapy.