this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
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The Onion

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[–] TheGrandNagus@lemmy.world 88 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I watch Lord Of The Rings at Christmas.

  • it has elves

  • the fellowship set out from Rivendell on the 25th of December

  • Gandalf has a santa-like beard

I rest my case

[–] mcqtom@lemmy.world 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget they all came out in December! That's the only thing that matters.

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

Aww never knew they were LGBT 🥰

[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 11 months ago

All of them were originally released around the holidays back in the early 00s as well, so there's baked in Christmas association with those movies.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

In a parallel universe multiplex somewhere, Christopher Lee smashed it as Krampus.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that Krampus is actually based on his activities during the second world war.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

What bad little nazis got for Christmas.
And there ain't no good little nazis.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)

american psycho should be one if them, the main character even says "have a holly jolly christmas"

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

I like when he ODs the two elves on MDMA then walks around with the elf head on his dick.

Such metaphor.

[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 11 months ago

There are more nonchalant Christmas references in American Psycho than in a Shane Black movie.

[–] qooqie@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Okay but why aren’t some of these Christmas season movies? I think narnia really isn’t that big of a stretch

[–] PapaStevesy@midwest.social 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Snow ≠ Christmas

It was only wintery because of the witch. If anything, it's Easter themed, since it's literally a crucifixion allegory.

Edit: I'm a big dumb wrong person.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What’s your case for Home Alone then?

That’s a Christmas movie to the core.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 11 months ago

Wait is anyone debating this?!

[–] SlapnutsGT@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

I saw some clickbait article the other day “movies you didn’t realize were Christmas movies” and it was full of obvious Christmas movies. #1 was Its a Wonderful Life………

[–] EvilLootbox@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It really depends on whether you can stomach watching Kevin Spacey or not, but The Ref is one of the greatest Christmas movies imo

[–] pdxfed@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Dennis Leary at his zenith.

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME. The corpse still has the floor!

[–] Littleborat@feddit.de 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Die hard should have been on one and not lethal weapon. Other than that I think those are excellent choices.

[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 11 months ago

Lethal Weapon was written by Shane Black, so by default it's a Christmas movie.

[–] Cultural_Hope@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

'The Ref' is a glaring omission. Burn the website down.

[–] Swallowtail@beehaw.org 5 points 11 months ago

🤷‍♀️ I don't enjoy traditional Christmas movies that much and I think it's fun to do something different.

There are 8 billion of us, it's pretty tough to say something original all the time.

[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

"get a personality" and "that's your whole personality" is just lazy writing. it's a generic insult deployed against anyone who likes a thing that says nothing about the person or the thing. it's the satire equivalent to "vegan bad". why should I read an article written by someone who makes parroting bland criticisms from the internet their whole personality?

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Not the Onion's best work, if I'm honest. Feels like C-grade Cracked.com material.

[–] TheTim@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Probably because it's from The Hard Times, not The Onion.

[–] BigSadDad@lemmy.world -1 points 11 months ago

"No, the only Christmas movies are movies I SAY are Christmas movies!" ~ Dan Rice / Chat GPT

Imagine caring what other people consider a holiday movie? Dan sounds like a miserable person who will go through your movie collection and call them all horse shit and demand you and your group watch a 4 hour movie about a woman brushing a horse and proclaiming It to be true art.

I stopped reading at his banal prologue. Don't invite Dan over for movie night, for he is armed with a Chat Bot and a thesaurus.

[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com -3 points 11 months ago

There really is only a small handful of pre-approved opinions on the internet that you're allowed to have. Some people need to virtue signal so damn hard every year that they're a REAL die hard fan, and it's like, okay bud, it's a mega blockbuster hit that hundreds of millions of people have watched for 35 years. Chill.