this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 118 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

"... And the person doesn't even know..." This dude is bad at this.

Y'all, if you work in my field and I buy you lunch, it's because I'm trying to hire you.

But you won't have to wonder. I'll start the conversation with something subtle, like "I'm buying today because I'm trying to hire you."

It...uh...works. Really well. Stay tuned for more insightful tips, I guess.

[–] metallic_substance@lemmy.world 107 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The guy is joking. It's obvious.

[–] Amends1782@lemmy.ca 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So many people not catching an obvious joke 💀

[–] XbSuper@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

That's most of lemmy.

[–] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 30 points 11 months ago

The world would run so much better if more people would just say exactly what they mean or are trying to do.

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Don't know what jokes are, do ya

[–] Ledivin@lemmy.world 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, my AI model is only trained to understand good jokes

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

Your ai needs to grasp context

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

What "I'm interviewing someone and they don't even know" means is he reckons he's going to head hunt them at some point.

Of course there's always the possibility they'll turn the offer down. Also they do know because you get notified by linkedin whenever someone looks at your account. So they'll see this guy continuously creeping on them and pretty much know what's coming. The fact they haven't reached out themselves already probably indicates they're not interested.

[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Yep. And I'm saying that when he gets better at it, he will call them, ask them to grab lunch, and openly say at the start of lunch "I'm buying because there's this thing I might want to hire you for, and I want to talk about it during lunch".

I've head-hunted people over the course of five years, myself. But they knew it, because I bought them lunch at least once per year to talk about how I'm a fan of their work.

This dude is likely to be disappointed because while he's been thinking about job fit for 5 years, his ideal candidate hasn't thought about him at all.

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

You still haven't figured out the story in the picture isn't real? Nobody's been interviewing anyone for five years.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk -3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

They're talking about stalking someone on LinkedIn.

Hi so over here we understand the concept of figurative speech. Would you like to come over here and stand on this side of the line, or are you going to be an idiot over there by yourself?

[–] crimroy@sopuli.xyz 2 points 11 months ago

It's a joke. I can only imagine working with you

[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 88 points 11 months ago (1 children)

After 5 years of dating, either hire them or propose to them.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

What if I fire them and propose to them.

[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 26 points 11 months ago

Just do like Ipji from Futurama

Leela: But you never wore a ring, I didn't know you had a wife.
Ipji: And my wife doesn't know I have a job, I keep my personal and professional life separate.

[–] scifu@lemm.ee 8 points 11 months ago

Do it in reverse. Propose to them and then fire them.

[–] Hupf@feddit.de 47 points 11 months ago (3 children)

What kind of mythical position would that be for? Assistant to the branch manager?

[–] archon@sh.itjust.works 30 points 11 months ago
[–] crimroy@sopuli.xyz 6 points 11 months ago

That's got to be at least assistant REGIONAL manager

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

The CEO of the c suite, not to be confused with the CEO of the company.

[–] corrupts_absolutely@sh.itjust.works 18 points 11 months ago

oh im being hired, glad to hear

[–] Anders429@programming.dev 8 points 11 months ago

oh my god you guys these are satirical

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago
[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

A 3 fucking hour interview?

A series of 1 hour interviews with different people is bad enough, but 3 hours?

If someone wants that much of my time, they better pay me.

[–] Stupidmanager@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

i’ve been just playing along, enjoying free lunches.

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 1 points 10 months ago

Can't tell if this is a joke or not

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world -4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That last bit he's just confusing keeping your eyes open and ears to the ground with interviewing. (Hopefully it's someone at his company and essentially a succession plan, in such case yeah the dude probably knows.)

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

You can't seriously be this dense.