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Stop saying allistic, it's really silly.
Neurotypical is honestly a better word
Neurotypical means they have 0 mental conditions/disorders, allistic just means not autistic
Also who the fuck is calling autistic people too sensitive? This image is like victim fetishizing.
I don't know about all autistic people, but over 75% of the people I've had a considerable relationship with have called me too sensitive at some point. It's one of the hallmarks of being me: waiting for the moment someone calls me too sensitive. The other is being called an asshole because I apparently made some implication I was completely unaware of.
allistic
the what now
Non autistic people.
But where does it come from? Regardless, sounds funny so I'm all for it.
Auto/allo come from the ancient Greek words for self/other. It's one of those pairs like cis/trans, hypo/hyper, in/ex, etc.
Image Transcription: Tumblr
lifeinautismworld
"Autistic people are too sensitive."
Meanwhile, here's a list of things that offend allistic people.
not making eye contact
wanting to be left alone
not wanting to take part in a conversation
using the wrong tone
showing the wrong amount of excitement
pointing instead of using words
not wanting to be touched
not wanting to eat certain foods
wearing earplugs around other people
stimming in a way that does not affect anyone else
not following traditions
questioning their authority
Good human
If I'm making eye contact with you, I have no idea what you're saying.
..... Um.
Well. This post has been eye opening and maybe a little disturbing.
Anyway I work in sales and eye contact is a must. I find it really hard to pay any attention to what people are saying when I'm looking at them but I've practiced enough that there's, like, a subroutine in my brain that that picks out the relevant information in a conversation while I consciously am not really engaged in a meaningful way. I'll ask the right questions and it seems like I'm paying attention but I'm really just running on auto pilot.
I'll finish a video conference or in person meeting thanking God for transcription software because I can't recall a fucking thing they talked about.
I've realized in life that nobody cares about what's actuallly happening. They are about what looks like it's happening. I don't understand it and I never will but everyone wants you to lie to them, constantly. So just give the people what they need.
Once I realized this life got a lot smoother.
Mind you, I hate talking to lawyers, consultants and salespeople who do that (and they're plenty) and I'm developing aversion to meeting new ones because of it. If you ever suspect your client is autistic, consider the possibility of not actually caring about eye contact, because they'll probably prefer that.
This kind of talk is counterproductive.
Humans are social creatures. There has almost always been some sort of social norm across all of history. Likewise, there has almost been judgement of people who break social norms.
People with Autism have, among other things, trouble following those social norms. Ultimately a lot of the things we do could be considered offensive. The important part is to increase awareness that Autism is a disability and to ask for tolerance.
Meanwhile a lot of ways that autistic people are sensitive in are pretty alien and jarring. There's a lack of emotional regulation that often leads to disproportionate outbursts. There are sensory issues that can lead to relatively benign things causing said outbursts. There are a ton of things that are simply more disruptive than a neurotypical person getting miffed that someone doesn't make eye contact.
The important part is to increase awareness that Autism is a disability and to ask for tolerance.
Or, you know, I can demand the reasonable accommodations that are my human right.
The important part is to increase awareness that Autism is a disability and to ask for ~~tolerance~~ understanding and accommodation.
I try to help.
If we're using the language of disability, 'understanding and accommodation' seems to afford its subjects a degree of dignity. We tend not to ask for 'tolerance' on behalf of the disabled, after all.
I don't think they are all the same, and not all of them cause "offence".
"using the wrong tone" is by definition wrong, so of course it will cause confusion and irritation.
Evidently, this is a divisive and emotional topic. Still, we’re happy that we are talking about it because it’s certainly important to us in the community. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be so heated about it. At the same time, we’d like to keep the discussion respectful. It’s completely fine to express your opinions as long as they aren’t explicitly violating any of the rules, especially promoting hate. It’s respectful and effective to disagree with someone over a passionate topic without calling them offensive names. There is no need to personally attack anyone or a group, and we do not want to maintain a space that is used for creating hateful division.
Remember, we’re here to discuss all matters related to autism, have a place where we can freely be autistic without having to mask, and ultimately create a community. It’s understandable to get heated over topics, but try to remember that you’re responding to another person that may feel emotional about the matter as well.
In other words, please practice human decency.
I can’t be the only one tired of the whole, “neurodivergent” crap.
I have ADHD, it’s a disability. I’m not **special**, I’m just fucking broken. Sure, it’s a more depressing take, but it’s more realistic.
Personally I find this form of thinking far more dangerous: I come from a country in which being "mentally disabled" would literally mean me being unable to function in polite society, and being a "retard" is something pretty common, even with adults. The fact I was undiagnosed autistic until I left saved me. Sure you don't function like everyone else, and yeah, it's hard - trust me -, but to say you're broken is basically undermining everyone else that has the same condition as you.
Neurodivergent is a middle ground. Our wiring is abnormal in some (or many) ways.
We are broken in the same way a tank is a really shitty car. If all you do is drive the roads, it will seem that way. However, it can go places that a car simply can't. Critically, this doesn't make it any less shitty on the roads. Nore let you suddenly become a car. You're a tank, and stuck as one.
This is different to being broken however. We are forced to adapt to our unusual brain wiring. Some people unfortunately can't. Others can mask, but find it exhausting.
I'm personally reasonably lucky. I have ADHD and autism. My life was pretty shitty till I learnt not to follow the expectations of others. I now have a family, an interesting job, and hobbies I enjoy. My life is still far from perfect, but it's not broken, it just felt that way.
Just because something is a disability doesn't mean you can't call it neurodivergent. It's just a broader term that means that you're different.
ADHD isn't a disability for everyone. Plenty of people function fine with it.
Just to be clear, something is called a disorder when it affects your ability to do everyday things.
Hey. Pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD (literally sitting in waiting room to talk to a therapist as I write this), and I feel like there's a bit more than just being broken. We're only "broken" because we don't conform to the currently agreed upon norms. The world isn't designed for us. And the quicker we can realize that and make personal and societal adaptations to make these "breaks" more standard, well, we'll all be better off.
This. It’s not a pity party, but it is a justification for medication, and for giving a little bit of understanding.
I'm offended that you think I don't question authority.
I take the reason you say this is cause your not on the spectrum?
Most things neurodivergent are actually stuff thats normal and common. Like needing some alone time, but its the degree of intensity, persevering need for those things that make it fit outside the norm.
A fun fact, we have a lot of ties to the roots of the lgbt community. Something about not letting norms and tradition decide how you should think and act. To be different often isn’t a choice and the right for us to exist differently is a matter of survival.
Why can't we just be ourselves, without NTs imposing judgement on us? Sometimes I feel like I'm expected to act NT, when I feel like it shouldn't be a big deal. It's very frustrating for me. So what if I don't know how to add to a conversation, or if I avoid eye contact, or if I don't like people trying to make eye contact with me for too long? Can't I just share that I'm autistic, and be given my own autonomy? I really don't like when NT standards are imposed on me. It makes me angry.
ah yes because my teenage neighbor is going to be very angry at me if I don't follow traditions
I've been trying that maintain eye contact thing, how to they do that? Doesn't't the constant screaming in their heads hurt them?
You've probably heard this already but, in case you haven't, try watching their eyebrows or right above them instead. It's a lot less awkward for some people for reasons I don't completely understand.
Remember to look away for a moment every ten seconds or so unless you're trying to seduce or intimidate them! It becomes a routine after awhile. Also, humans are really weird.
Kinda burying the lede here. They are all different forms of “questioning their authority”
not wanting to be touched
That was a big one that contributed to my divorce. Even after decades and with the person who was supposed to be my closest relationship, and even after explaining a million times that the worse my autoimmune illness got, the less I wanted to be touched, it was a massive problem.
I still don’t get it, because I’ve never once thought someone else not wanting me to touch them impacted me in any way. I also never feel the need to touch other people. I guess that’s weird.
Touch is a form of intimacy, one your partner has been severely deprived of. As a heavily tactile person, partner that doesn't want to be touched would be a massive showstopper for me.
Sad it turned out this way, but great if you'll find a partner that respects this boundaries more, or, better yet, doesn't want to touch you either.
There's a huge difference between "someone else" and your life partner.