this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2023
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Asexual

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I've been having a dought. It's a small nagging one but it's there.

I've been working a lot with my therapist on self hate issues, but I can acknowledge them.

I realized I can never really be in any kind of physical relationship with somone because of this. I'm repulsed by myself and perhaps my asexuality is just a result of that.

I wonder if I am so repulsed by myself that the idea of me being with anyone is rejected because of the "me" part and not how I feel towards others. Where some may think "I want to kiss that person" I can't bare the thought if subjecting somone to me in that way. And therefore the thought is gross.

Does anyone else deal with this? Any advice?

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