Probably only a couple of you throw them hard enough
Word will eventually spread of your craft
this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
652 points (99.1% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
26837 readers
3837 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
the first apple sails by missing him by an inch, as he ducks his head and weaves through the barricaded furniture by the front fate. A second apple whizzes by and hits that nasty postman who explodes in a cloud of letters. Target in sight, he bounds up the stairs and into the first room on the left and delivers his cargo by masters feet: a fresh basket of apples. He's a good boy.
Eating "anywhere from 150 to several thousand" apple cores will kill an adult with cyanosis so... maybe stop worrying about how many you need to eat and start figuring out how to feed them to people.
If you die you're technically away from everyone.
So what you’re saying is we should aim for 80-120 or what I call the “diarrhea zone” to ensure people leave us alone
I would rather cover them in petrol and throw them in a river, than share food with another human being!
Would this also work with apple pie? I'd love some delicious death.
Eat enough and the doctor will come back
I don't know about apples, but if you just want people to stay away, then, according to anecdotes from others (definitely not personal experience! Stop looking at me), the following will keep you on the throne:
- 2.5kg of oranges (2.5kg with the peel, if you eat the peel you may be able to reduce the amount IDK). Ingest the oranges over the course of an afternoon, where you're bored out of your skull watching the same long play VHS-tape.
- 1kg of assorted wine gum and foam. Ingested over the course of an all nighter at a LAN party.
- 750g of peanuts. Ingested in the back of the car, while your parents are becoming more and more desperate, trying to navigate out of Liege, for 2 hours, in the time before smartphones and car GPS. Careful with this one, most Citroëns don't a toilet build into the back seats.
- ANY amount of the pinkish sweet middle part of the 20cm tall pine cones that grows directly into the air. Just don't be a retard like yours truly on this one.
Beans is the magical fruit
Was just about to say. Apples keep away the doctor, beans keep away anyone else.
Pythagoras said to never eat them. But he died after a while, so what did he know?
They say that if you drink a gallon of water a day, it would keep all the drama away, since you'd be too busy peeing.
Since this specifies how many to eat, probably only like 10. That's a little over the daily value of fiber and since most people don't usually eat as much fiber as they should anyway, that should be enough to get some pretty good gas happening.
How do you even keep the fruit merchant away with that amount of consumption
Most if you throw them hard enough.
Not that many, actually. You'll become a soft serve ice cream machine that's always stuck a little bit on if you have 15 apples worth of fiber a day.
Thanks for the image.