this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
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Football / Soccer / Calcio / Futebol / Fußball

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[–] surprisinghorizons@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago
[–] AJ_CC@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Gonna turn the team around by signing a bunch of gifted youngsters.

[–] mmaqp66@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Captain Picard??? Does he know about football????? incredible

[–] xxxblazeit42069xxx@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

that's not the patrick stewart everyone wanted. that's an actual bald fraud.

[–] g0ldingboy@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

I did not come hear to read about that bald Patrick Stewart.

[–] ZxZxchoc@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Probably signed with the hope that he would be like Patrick Stewart's character in Star Trek.

Given the way things go at Old Trafford I'd say he'll much more like to be like Patrick Stewart's character in American Dad.

[–] SaltyPeter3434@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

You thought we were shit, didn't you? Acting.

[–] eventhorizon130@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Man Utd is like comedy gold. 😀.

[–] TheRealMikkyX@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is football."

[–] Molineux28@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago
[–] MyAssDoesHeeHawww@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

There's Klingons in the owner's room, Jim!

[–] larsmaehlum@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

More like Ferengi.

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[–] Wiseman_Dennis@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Having Professor X running things for you doesn’t seem all that fair, now does it

[–] DildoFappings@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Haha we've got professor X on the helm. WE'RE WINNING THE TREBLE BOYS!

[–] RaRaRaaputitin@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hopefully he can get his brother, The Juggernaut to help out in defence

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[–] RichieLT@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Make it so!

Cerebro transfer committee

[–] cr2152@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago
[–] sasksasquatch@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Just thinking, Patrick Stewart walks in day one to Ten Hag's office and just starts shouting, "The line must be drawn here. This far, no farther."

[–] GalaxianEX@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Reading the name and seeing the small image on my phone threw me for a loop 🤣

[–] EezoManiac@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago
[–] KnightsOfCidona@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Terrible betrayal of Huddersfield if true.

[–] Pow67@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (5 children)

If you see opposition players doing weird shit at Old Trafford, it’s because Professor X is mind controlling them from the stands.

[–] CaninesTesticles@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And the players clothes fall off. And then I’ve seen everything. I’ve seen it all.

On the bright side for United, maybe he’ll magically sub himself in to score the CL winning goal (and then Posh Spice’s clothes fall off just for the hell of it)

[–] SanctusUnum@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

And I wish that I were playing, and suddenly I am, and I score the winning goal, and they carry me into the dressing room and there's Rooney and Beckham and then Posh Spice walks in and...

[–] SaltyPeter3434@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

"Casemiro feeds a through ball to Rashford into the box and--OOO that's a nasty challenge by Romero who's attempted a flying Chun Li helicopter kick!"

[–] Swolyguacomole@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe Prof should focus on the Man u players not doing weird shit.

Mind control them to behave around women

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[–] Feezbull@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

More likely given the buffoonery of the club you’ll see Onana levitate with the ball while rashford mysteriously runs into defenders again and again but doesn’t try anything else.

Oh wait…

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[–] tweazz@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't think even Professor X can make Martial score

[–] KillerZaWarudo@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Martial with proper work ethic and not sulk at the slightest competition + not made out of glass could have fulfilled his ballon dor clause

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[–] dwaynepipes@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Get ready for spontaneously naked women around Old Trafford

[–] durandpanda@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

"Ive seen everything"

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THE patrick stewart? the poop from the emoji movie?

[–] hulseyyy@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] NomaanMalick@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

United can also call on Deadpool if they feel the need.

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[–] Corsica_Furiosa@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

He's seen everything. He's seen it all.

[–] tbbt11@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

The multiverse of madness

One day they will by mistake sign good players and win the league through sheer trial and error.

If you buy more lottery tickets than everyone else, you’ve got a way better chance of winning. Thanks, I’m Michael Owen.

[–] prettybunbun@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Wait Picard?

[–] Dorkseid1687@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago
[–] offandona@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Why do they all look like Goonies over there at old trafford?

Set the course to Champions League.

[–] georgefriend3@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Make it so.

[–] jlebrech@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Man United the next generation

[–] HarryDaz98@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

I know things are pretty bad at United atm, but bringing in the X-Men is a bit much.

[–] ILovEuTooSandwich@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago
[–] dimebag_101@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

Who the fuck is this guy. Thought it was supposed to be one of Ratcliffes people

[–] redwineandcoffee@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

He does have a great screenplay about hanging out with Rooney, Beckham and Posh. Good fit.

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