this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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[–] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 135 points 1 year ago (4 children)

This "I can do better" mindset is probably the single biggest factor why people end up lonely for the rest of their life.

[–] Lojcs@lemm.ee 61 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It sounds like oop didn't really love her tho. They acted rash but it's not like they saw other girls and decided to ditch the relationship

[–] erogenouswarzone@lemmy.ml 25 points 1 year ago

It's such an easy mindset to fall into, esp that young. Your other makes you feel so special, and you can easily think you can replicate that with anyone. You can't, it comes very seldom, if ever.

[–] FlexibleToast@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sure, but also you can't settle for someone you don't connect with.

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah, but I think a lot of people are shallow, they think one bad argument or one off day is enough to start looking elsewhere. They want their perfect fantasies and don't want to do any work for the relationships.

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I realized that was monogamy. When you don't have to chose just one person to share you life with you get to decide who you want to share your life with.

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In my experience, every single polyamorous relationship I've known of has been led by a pathetic man who thinks he's the best thing ever created, there's always multiple girls, rarely multiple guys and the girls don't really have any of the power in the relationships, although many of them are convinced that isn't the case.

Tl;dr polyamory is for self-centered douchebags with low morality and self-control.

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Yikes sorry to hear that. My polycule isn't "led". I'm one of two cis males but we're both bi and aren't romanticly involved. There are no cis women in my polycule but a couple of nonbinary beans. I suppose one of the nonbinary beans makes the financial decisions so they lead in that regard but we mostly have intersecting hobbies. I do have a girlfriend everyone is aware of but she's not really involved in the polycule and only really interested in me.

But the feeling of "I can do better" usually means giving up your current relationship to support the next one. With healthy ethical non-monogamy the polycule tends to help you get the relationships you want to be involved with. But it appears this is just my experience.

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sorry I only know English.

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago

Ok. Good job learning it buddy.

[–] newIdentity@sh.itjust.works 47 points 1 year ago

Holy shit that's depressing

[–] Th4tGuyII@kbin.social 35 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Man, that's a depressing read...

Sometimes it's easy to start taking what you have for granted, to lose sight of the forest for the trees, and you'll never know what you're losing or already lost until the fog of the future fades away to reveal the mistakes you made along the way.

[–] moosetwin@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I apologize for my brevity, I typed this on mobile.

A while ago, I was hanging out in a Discord server, talking about whatever, when this guy comes along.

He starts talking all about how he's super depressed and the only one he has to talk to is his girlfriend, he's afraid she'll leave him as he can't hold a job. Normal depression stuff.

I am trying to console him, give him suggestions to get out of his situation, all while a helpful moderator stops the chat so that me and this suicidal guy can talk.

All of a sudden he says, [sic] she just left me ima kms

I start typing a response, when some guy replies to that message with "cool". I've been around the internet a few times, I am not surprised by a dick. What I am surprised about is what the Helpful Moderator did after:

The Helpful Moderator sided with the 'cool' guy, told the obviously depressed person to knock it off, and timed the guy out, later followed by a permanent ban, all for "faking being suicidal".

I contacted an admin, but even after they lifted the ban and scolded the moderator, I never saw that guy again.

[–] spez@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

Oh man, that's fucked up.

[–] Venomnik0@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Remember for discord mods and admins are pedophiles. So they have no souls

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

What an incredibly dumb thing to say. There are millions of discord mods and admins. Tell me you're obsessively watching Fox News every day without telling me.

[–] racsol@lemmy.ml 23 points 1 year ago

Dude, that's rough. Reminder to appreciate what you have while it lasts.

[–] ParsnipWitch@feddit.de 21 points 1 year ago

Another person lost because of an abusive dad.

[–] PeWu@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

This post hurt like a motherfucker

[–] iByteABit@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Hope the dad rots in prison

[–] zephyrvs@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago

That made me cry just now.

[–] vicfic@iusearchlinux.fyi 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It can't possibly be real, right?

[–] quesomodo@programming.dev 3 points 1 year ago

Let's hope so. This one's too sad.

[–] vulnerability@sh.itjust.works -2 points 1 year ago

I don't care how childish you were op, fuck off you are a piece of fucking shit.