this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
304 points (93.9% liked)

RPGMemes

10323 readers
331 users here now

Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

For context, they managed to successfully accomplish an impossible task (defeating a Lich with it's minions) to save their tribe's armoury and magical item stash. So their master, an Ancient Red Dragon, will give them an item from his own collection

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 73 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

ever published

Hold on, I need to refer to my Book of Erotic Fantasy.

their master, an Ancient Red Dragon

That gives me some ideas.

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] DmMacniel@feddit.de 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Ah yes, the bad dragon. An interesting and wholesome thing, really. Go look for it when you have time at work.

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 7 points 1 year ago

*beer opens

Keep going

*lands feet on coffee table

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Jorgelino@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Even if we stay in the realm of official content, there's still the "Nipple Clamps of Exquisite Pain" from the Book of Vile Darkness.

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Art not from me, but unless you are new here you know that already

[–] Sheeple@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Be careful that they don't end up asking for stuff like... I dunno

The wand of Orcus

The book of vile dead

Sphere of annihilation

all magic items includes the items wielded by gods haha

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 24 points 1 year ago

The wand of Orcus

Sounds actually a fun item to roleplay for a DM :)

[–] figaro@lemdro.id 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Love Konsi! She deserves to be the new meme format.

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I cannot believe some no life gave this a downvote. I agree with you

[–] figaro@lemdro.id 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Honestly if nothing else comes from lemmy, we at least got Konsi out of it. It's all worth it now.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TheGreatFox@lemm.ee 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For Konsi, the perfect item would be the Resurrection Sphere. Infinite use wish-tier resurrection, with a 1 minute casting time.

It still counts if it's a 3pp Pathfinder item, right?

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For Konsi indeed good choice. She wouldnt care they come back as different races. Which would lead to both hilarious and fucked up moments with the families of the deceased

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Bloodwoodsrisen@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I haven't seen Ahdok for a while, hope they're okay :(

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 20 points 1 year ago

I think the last comic was the end of a story. Dont know if there will be more... hope so :,(

[–] MouseKeyboard@ttrpg.network 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They ran out of their backlog of comics.

[–] Bloodwoodsrisen@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh okay! So hopefully more are still coming! Thanks for that update

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dracs@programming.dev 7 points 1 year ago

They're still posting on Mastodon. They did say that they had finished up the story arc/backlog that had. So not as many posts around here.

[–] Lag_Incarnate@ttrpg.network 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Had something similar a few sessions ago; party was raiding Vecna's ancient submerged capital castle to find his Dark Library, and each one got to have one "secret" of their choice. Wizard took a diabolic contract, the quest item; Cleric took an amulet that can exorcise demons; Fighter got a divine message and took some oil of invulnerability, but he also got greedy and took a belt of storm giant's strength.

Of course, the trick is that Vecna wanted them to get those items because he'd been orchestrating the entire campaign for a payoff centuries in the future. He's not even going to show up in the campaign, all he has to do is send his AD&D minions that have nonsense like STR-draining grapple attacks and the demilich "devour soul" variant action as a gaze attack to gatekeep the library after the fact, because old-school D&D monsters don't care if you were born in 5e.

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

But... why did vecna wanted them to have these, including an item the oil that is a consumable ??

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] cryptiod137@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Please offer The Head of Vecna

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 9 points 1 year ago

Im not offering anything. They choose

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ever published? I'll take a Hammership, please

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

No can do. It has to fit in a dragon's horde. Sorry

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 8 points 1 year ago

Take your head of Vecna, player, and sit down XD

[–] ndguardian@lemmy.studio 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 5 points 1 year ago

I'll allow it

[–] TacticsConsort@yiffit.net 11 points 1 year ago

Dragon Master

Very good. Excellent.

[–] daemoz@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Whats in the book of sex magic kept in ankh-moreparks dungeon? It could only be read in an ice cold room by wizards over 80 years old, ideally when dead. Sounds like a good find.

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My 120 years old Liche : Interesting...

[–] daemoz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Mmmm double entendre on your synonym while doubly qualified. Amazing!

[–] TotallyNotSpez@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago
[–] DmMacniel@feddit.de 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Alchemical Jug for Infinite supply of mayonnaise. Easy.

[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Funny thing is, there is one kobold in the team that would probably do it. Then offer it to the cheff of the tribe, Linéon Piedléger, a halfelin that is like Gordon Ramsey and likes to taste new meats...

[–] grue@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There is soooooo much more you could do with an infinite jar of mayonaise than merely to eat it.

[–] pdxfed@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] grue@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was thinking of it as a multi-use replacement for this. Why, what did you have in mind?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] timgrant@ttrpg.network 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm a simple man, and will just ask for a AD&D 1e Unusual Sword +5 Holy Avenger, with an Intelligence of 17. Love me that 50% magic resistance in 5 foot radius, dispel magic at will, and +10 damage vs. Chaotic Evil.

Since I'm choosing, I'll assume optimum rolls for an "unusual sword", and take: All 14 extraordinary powers: charm person, clairaudience, clairvoyance, determine direction and depth, ESP, flying, heal, illusion, leviathan, strength, telekinesis, telepathy, teleportation, and X-ray vision.

Its Special Purpose should be slay "non-human monsters" disintegrating them on a hit unless they save (sure its special purpose should be slaying evil, but that's so restrictive. It should speak 10 languages.

Before I forget, it ought to match my alignment, so its ego doesn't overwhelm mine and make me stab myself or something. But maybe that's where the fun for the DM comes in?

They sure don't make 'em like they used to.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

@ahdok@ttrpg.network I miss you

[–] ahdok@ttrpg.network 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Aw. I'm sorry.

I've been busy drawing the daily Konsi though.

Here you go.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] sculd@beehaw.org 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] sammytheman666@ttrpg.network 7 points 1 year ago

Not mine, but thank you. Please follow the official publisher :)

load more comments
view more: next ›