Somebody pissed off a druid.
this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
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Or the ranger.
Could be both at the same time, tbh.
My vote is both, and rolled a nat 1.
I feel like I saw this on a flag somewhere...
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Italy. Italy has like, a falcon and a snake / lizard on it somewhere.
/S
If this happened across the border in Mexico it would be almost patriotic.
I think you're almost right, but you forgot about the lady from Texas on it. It's actually a pretty well known thing among vexilologists because it's such a crazy anachronism.
This is some NottheOnion-type shit!
The only thing missing from this story is Florida.
Don't be fooled. Nature is practicing her own version of drones dropping grenades for when she's finally had it with our bullshit. Mushrooms, naked snakes, and worst of all, badgers.
Thankfully since she wasn't on drugs she got medical care!
".... her husband following the bizarre incident. She said the doctor asked her if she was on drugs after hearing her story.
After assuring them this story was true, she was given antibiotics and her arm was bandaged. Luckily, her doctors determined she was not bitten by the snake..."
So both the lady and the husband are in the hospital and described the attack and it's obvious she's got deep lacerations and bird claw puncture wounds and she's terrified and bleeding badly. She's in her 60s and being asked if she's on drugs. If she was on drugs I wonder if they would have given her antibiotics and fixed her up.
The venom that was spewed thankfully didn't blind her.
Hawk 01, Fox two. Splash one!