Hey, you've been through a lot emotionally this past weekend. Consider some self care and down time. As for the gender stuff, try to listen to yourself and your needs, and go from there. Good idea reaching out to the gender clinic line. I hope everything works out for you and you come out of this with a better understanding of yourself as a whole.
this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2023
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Have an introductory session with a therapist on Thursday now...
I'm approaching my twelve year anniversary with my wife who was with me through transition. Your partner needing time to reframe and reunderstand you as a person is normal and part of the process. You have to be patient with each other. This is a massive change for her and her life too.
Personally, I suggest focusing on more casual, low stakes feminine existence. This is someone you spend time with. Show her your natural self, your normal mind, your zen, and she will see you for the woman you are. Getting fitted at VS and chastity are both very dramatic and pointed. They don't contain an intimate reflection of your feminine self. Maybe go thrift store shopping for regular clothing together. It's very free form and casual. It allows you to sculpt and show more of who you are. Involve her in the process so she can know you deeply and completely as a woman.
Important context here, my partner is a trans woman herself so understands much of my current headspace. She's also my dominant in a dynamic, the caging was more linked to that at first. We share a lot of our clothing these days, we're the same size in that... she's just taller than me. I've been dressing femme for a few months now after initially coming out as fluid... that's normal to us...
Tbh that doesn't really matter. She may be able to get where she's going faster because of her own experiences, but any dramatic personal change in a romantic partner can take time and effort to process. She has to sort out the part of her life where she thought she had a boyfriend. Even even you understand it, retconning part of your life is a trippy process. A few months is very little time for a major life change like this. You're still finding yourself, and I'm sure she's trying hard to keep up with where and who you are. Idk how long you've been together/known each other overall, but this is a new chapter for the two of you that has kind of just started. Once you've found your zen, your normal mind, she'll be there for you before anyone else can.