this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face

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[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 303 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

Pinning this post for two days or until whenever I remember to unpin it because I got a report reading "Rule 1—this is not remotely LAMF".

  • It's textbook leopards. This man moved to Russia because he liked the way they eat LGBTQ+ people's faces and was blindsided when his face got eaten.
  • The only thing that isn't funny about this is that innocent Ukrainians have to fight him now.
  • Russia is a backwards, imperialist, genocidal septic tank of a country.
  • Die mad.
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 122 points 2 days ago (4 children)

die mad

Fuck I love this site so much more than the "you've been permanently banned for inciting violence, and we deleted your comment so you can't know what you said, and furthermore we will not be reviewing any appeal cause we dgaf about users." site

[–] Donjamos@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago (3 children)

All that we are deleting the comment thing really annoys me. They even link your post in the "you have been banned" notice. And it leads to exactly nothing because at the same moment they delete your post. What's the point of linking said post if it's not available any longer. Im advocating violence fairly often, how the hell am I supposed to remember what I got banned for?

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[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

Ahh Reddit. I do not miss that garbage fire.

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[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

The only thing that isn’t funny about this is that innocent Ukrainians have to fight him now.

It's still kind of grimly funny if you think about those Ukranians' opponent being some dumbass who didn't even get taught how to soldier in a language he understood before he was scraped from the bottom of the barrel and turned into their cannon fodder.

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[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

Apparently he has already been killed. His family got the standard bag of potatoes

[–] InternetRando@lemmy.myserv.one 81 points 2 days ago (2 children)

All that just because he was afraid that he was gonna like sucking cock

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 41 points 2 days ago (3 children)

He might end up having to do so anyway. Dedovshchina (ritual hazing of Russian army recruits) will happen to him and sexual abuse isn't uncommon.

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

... Is the whole country just gay and hiding behind homophobia? Do they just need to learn to accept themselves and each other?

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 24 points 1 day ago

Heard a quote that sums it up pretty well.

"Everything is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power."-dunno who to attribute this too.

I don't completely agree with that, but I think it sums up some people in the Russian military pretty well.

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[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 43 points 1 day ago

He gets to die fighting for what he believes in--Oligarchs that don't give two shits about LGBTQ or him and his family because they're all poors.

[–] Sabin10@lemmy.world 101 points 2 days ago (6 children)

If you belive LGBTQ media is all it will take to turn you gay then you are already gay.

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[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 202 points 2 days ago (3 children)

So he was stupid enough to move to Russia, and she was stupid enough to take her kids and go with him.

As it turns out, being wilfully stupid can be fatal.

[–] N0t_5ure@lemmy.world 50 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] protist@mander.xyz 69 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

He already reproduced. At this point natural selection only cares about the fate of his children

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Well, looks like the children's fate will also be Russian cannon fodder at this rate...

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[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 155 points 2 days ago (15 children)

Wow, that's a huge lesson he's learning, you need to do a little research.

“The point of this act for me is to earn a place here in Russia,” he told Russian state media last month. “If I risk myself for our new country, no one will say that I am not a part of it. Unlike migrants in America who come there just like that, do not assimilate, and at the same time want free handouts.”

Undocumented migrants cannot join the U.S. military during peacetime. A program launched by former President George W. Bush allowed such immigrants to seek citizenship by serving in the military, but that pathway was shuttered during President Donald Trump’s first term.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 68 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Are the migrants wanting handouts he refers to the ones who are working low paying physical jobs that Americans refuse to do, sending most of that money back to their families still in their native countries? What a bunch of freeloaders. /s

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[–] regedit@feddit.online 11 points 1 day ago

As a vet, tRump doing this pissed me off almost as much as anything else he did in his first term. Some of the most ardent service(wo)men I served with were part of this program around 2006-ish. Many of them stayed in past their required terms (which I think had to be 8-years if I'm not mistaken), unlike myself and others looking to get through college debt-free.

If you're willing to put your life on the line for a country you aren't currently a citizen of, you deserve to be a citizen of that country on the other side of that service.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

"Unlike migrants in America who come there just like that, do not assimilate, and at the same time want free handouts.”

Ah, so he has learned the Russian language to a degree at least approaching fluency?

As has his wife?

And he has been teaching his kids Russian as well?

He does, after all, very seriously consider language as a fundamental element of a nation's culture:

https://usa.news-pravda.com/usa/2025/06/05/323684.html

[Regarding Huffman's stance on the Russo-Ukraine conflict, as of ~6 weeks ago]:

They took away their language and their religion from these inhabitants. They were oppressed, they tried to suppress their Russian culture. You can't do that. I believe that the residents of Donbass are full members of a large Russian family. To tell the truth, I can't fully understand what the Ukrainian government didn't like, but I think it was just harassing the residents of Donbass. President [of Russia Vladimir] Putin tries to protect those whom he sees as members of his family, his brothers.

Hey... wait a minute...

[From another part of the article]:

... - emphasized the interlocutor of the "First Russian".

No, of course he doesn't speaking any fucking Russian, he's a dumbass gun nut hyperconservative from Texas, he most likely can barely even speak English.

Ah you see, Americans who move abroad, no no, they aren't immigrants... they are ex-pats, which is a totally different thing guys, for real.

What a fucking idiot.

I feel bad for his soon to be orphaned kids.

And dog.

Not his at least equally stupid wife though.

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[–] TallonMetroid@lemmy.world 123 points 2 days ago (4 children)

”It didn’t come as a surprise to me,” she said of his joining the military. “He always spoke so highly of the country, its president, and its people, and he has a strong passion for doing the right thing.

That's a weird way to spell crimes against humanity, but I guess there's that Texan scholastic excellence for you.

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[–] heyWhatsay@slrpnk.net 22 points 1 day ago

I hope more magas follow this success story

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 1 day ago

When Tim Cook came out as gay, Russia took down a statue honoring Steve Jobs. That's a completely different person. How intolerant can you get?

This refugee from "woke" can suck it. Poor widdle baby gonna get shot, boo hoo.

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Sunflier@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Nothing of value was lost when he moved away. Nothing of value will be lost when his corpse is left rotting in a field.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 72 points 2 days ago (7 children)

I (Texan) said hi in the parking lot to a coworker I hadn't met before. He proceeded to tell me about how he lived on each of the coasts until those areas one-by-one "went to shit." Then, he explained to me that he had to get away from all the filth that moved in to those areas and that's why he chose to move to Texas. "God, guns, and freedom as far as the eye can see." I truly regretted engaging that man with a simple greeting.

A bad interaction like this shouldn't ruin my day, but I work in public education, which means this guy is integral in supporting our community and raising our children. What has ruined every day for me since that interaction was learning that he works in HR. I'm so fucking dreading this upcoming school year.

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[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 107 points 2 days ago (6 children)
[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 59 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

You have been banned from Lemmy․ml

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[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 46 points 2 days ago (4 children)

My entire family just laughed our asses off at this. For real, we're all hanging out in the living room.

I moved my family away from MAGAt hell last year due fear for their lives.

I hope a Ukraninan drone drops a grenade on top of him and he dies screaming while he tries to hold his guts in.

[–] Outwit1294@lemmy.today 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I love lemmy. This comment would have got you banned on Reddit

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What could be more sublime than the freedom to unburden oneself of a deep inner truth? Fuck the police, death to the IDF, Luigi did nothing wrong, and please rate my drawing of Muhammad: {ಠ⁠,⁠_⁠」⁠ಠ}

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[–] Agrivar@lemmy.world 84 points 2 days ago (28 children)

Is it wrong that I hope he gets his ass killed by an American who traveled to Ukraine to join them?

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[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 66 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Huffman, a native Texan, brought his wife, three daughters, and their family Husky, “Baby,” with him to Russia. The couple also has three sons from prior marriages who opted to remain in the United States.

The 3 sons are smarter that mom and dad. I hope mom wises up fast enough to get the daughters out. Dad is not long for this world.

[–] burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world 45 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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[–] don@lemmy.ca 55 points 2 days ago

Excellent use of a Texan, especially one infected with the broke mind virus.

[–] not_that_guy05@lemmy.world 65 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Now, if more MAGA would go to Russia, that be great.

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[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 45 points 2 days ago (1 children)

May your corpse feed a few sunflowers on the land you're invading. Nazi piece of shit.

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[–] NauticalNoodle@lemmy.ml 27 points 2 days ago (2 children)

it sounds like this guy has a pattern of behavior being easily-duped.

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[–] Pavidus@lemmy.world 48 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Well, I'm glad he's safe from the gays.

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